Isahluko 32

Ndinokuzikhusela Njani Kubantu Abaxhaphaza Abantwana Ngokwesini?

Nyaka ngamnye kudlwengulwa izigidi zabantu okanye zixhatshazwe ngokwesini, yaye uhlolisiso lubonisa ukuba awona maxhoba ngabantu abaselula. Ngokomzekelo, kuqikelelwa ukuba eUnited States, phantse isiqingatha sabantwana abadlwengulwayo bangaphantsi kweminyaka eli-18 ubudala. Ngenxa yokuba bebaninzi abantu abaxhatshazwayo, kubalulekile ukuba ulihlolisise kakuhle eli nqaku.

“Wandibamba waza wandiphosa phantsi ndingaqondanga. Ndenza konke okusemandleni ndizama ukuphuncuka. Ndathi rhuthu i-“spray” sokuzikhusela, kodwa wasiphosela kude. Ndazama ukukhala, kodwa andizange ndikwazi. Ndamtyhala, ndimkhaba, ndimbetha ngamanqindi ndimkrwempa nokumkrwempa. Kanye ngelo xesha, ndeva imela indihlaba. Ndaphelelwa ngamandla.”—UAnnette.

BANINZI abantu abaxhaphaza abantwana ngokwesini namhlanje. NjengoAnnette, olunye ulutsha luxhatshazwa ngabantu olungabaziyo, ukanti olunye luxhatshazwa ngabamelwane. Kwaba njalo kuNatalie, owayeneminyaka eli-10 ubudala xa waxhatshazwa ngumntwana okwishumi elivisayo nowayehlala kufutshane nakowabo. Uthi: “Ndandisoyika yaye ndineentloni kangangokuba ekuqaleni andizange ndixelele mntu.”

Ulutsha oluninzi luxhatshazwa ngamalungu entsapho. Elinye ibhinqa eligama linguCarmen lithi: “Ngoxa ndandiphakathi kweminyaka emi-5 neli-12 ubudala, utata wayendixhaphaza ngokwesini. Ndambuza ngale nto xa ndandineminyaka  engama-20 ubudala. Wacela uxolo, kodwa emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa, wandigxotha ekhaya.”

Namhlanje yinto eqhelekileyo ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesini ngummelwane, umhlobo okanye ilungu lentsapho. a Kodwa asinto intsha ukuxhatshazwa kwabantu abaselula. Loo manyala ayesenzeka nkqu nakumaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile. (Yoweli 3:3; Mateyu 2:16) Ngoku siphila kumaxesha ekunzima ukujamelana nawo. Abantu abaninzi abanawo “umsa wemvelo,” yaye bathanda ukuxhaphaza amantombazana (kwakunye nabafana) ngokwesini. (2 Timoti 3:1-3) Nangona kungekho nto inokuqinisekisa ukhuseleko, kuninzi onokukwenza ukuze uzikhusele. Khawuhlolisise la macebiso alandelayo:

Lumka. Xa usendleleni, yazi into eqhubekayo phambi kwakho, emva kwakho kanti nasemacaleni. Eminye imimandla yaziwa njengeyingozi, ingakumbi ebusuku. Zama ukuziphepha iindawo ezinjalo, okanye qiniseka ukuba akuhambi wedwa.—IMizekeliso 27:12.

Musa ukudlulisela imbono ephosakeleyo. Kuphephe ukudlala ngothando okanye ukunxiba ngendlela evuselela inkanuko. Ezo zinto zinokwenza umntu acinge ukuba unomdla weentlobano zesini—okanye akunakwala xa ekucela.—1 Timoti 2:9, 10.

Yichaze imida yakho. Ukuba uyathandana, thetha naloo mntu uthandana naye ngendlela enimele niziphathe ngayo. b Xa sele nithethile ngoko nimele nikwenze noko ningamele nikwenze, musa ukuzibeka kwimeko eya kubangela ukuba uphulukane nobunyulu bakho.—IMizekeliso 13:10.

Yiba nesibindi sokuthetha. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuthi, “Yiyeke loo nto!” okanye “Susa esi sandla kum!” Ungoyiki kuba ungafuni ukwahlukana nalo mntu. Ukuba  wahlukana nawe ngenxa yokuba uthethe oku, akafanelekanga! Ngapha koko, ufanelwe ngumntu wokwenene oza kuwuhlonipha umzimba nemigaqo yakho. c

Lumka xa usebenzisa i-Internet. Ungaze unikele inkcazelo okanye iifoto eziza kuchaza indawo okuyo. d Ukuba ufumana umyalezo othetha ngamanyala, kuhle ukuba ungawuphenduli. Ukungayiphenduli imiyalezo enjalo, kuyabatyhafisa abantu abaxhaphaza abantwana.

Ezi zinto zikhankanywe ngasentla zinokukusindisa ekuxhatshazweni. (IMizekeliso 22:3)  Sekunjalo, usenokungakwazi ukuziphepha ezinye iimeko. Ngokomzekelo, usenokungasoloko ukwazi ukuhamba nomnye umntu ukwazi ukuphepha iindawo ezithile eziyingozi. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uhlala kwindawo eyingozi.

Mhlawumbi sele unamava abuhlungu akubangela uqonde okokuba izinto ezimbi zinokukwehlela enoba wenza umgudu ongakanani wokuziphepha. NjengoAnnette ekuthethwe ngaye ekuqaleni, usenokuhlaselwa ungalindelanga uze ungabi namandla okuzilwela. Okanye njengoCarmen, kusenokwenzeka ukuba waxhatshazwa usengumntwana, ngoko wawungenamandla okuyithintela imeko enjalo—okanye ungazi nokuba kwenzeka ntoni. Abo baye baxhatshazwa ngokwesini banokuhlangabezana njani nokusoloko beziva benetyala?

Ukuhlangabezana Nokuziva Unetyala

UAnnette usaziva enetyala nangoku ngenxa yento eyenzekayo. Uthi: “Ndisazisola nangoku ngento eyenzekayo. Ndisoloko ndicinga ngaloo ngokuhlwa. Ndivakalelwa kukuba andizange ndenze konke okusemandleni am. Emva kokuba ndihlatyiwe, ndoyika kakhulu, ndaphelelwa ngamandla, kodwa ndicinga ukuba ikho into endandinokuyenza.”

 NoNatalie ukwimeko efanayo. Uthi: “Ndandingamele ndimthembe. Umthetho wasekhaya wawukukuba mna nodadewethu sihlale sikunye xa sidlala ngaphandle, kodwa andizange ndiwuthobele. Ndivakalelwa kukuba ndim owabangela ukuba ummelwane andidlwengule. Oko kwenzekayo kwayikhathaza gqitha intsapho yasekhaya, yaye ndivakalelwa kukuba ndim owabangela oko. Le yeyona nto iyenza buhlungu intliziyo yam.”

Ukuba nawe ukwimeko efana neka-Annette okanye uNatalie, yintoni onokuyenza? Okokuqala, mayihlale isengqondweni yakho into yokuba zange udlwengulwe kuba ufuna. Abanye abantu bayithatha lula le nto besithi kakade amadoda anjalo nokuba abantu ababekek’ ityala ngaba badlwengulwayo. Kodwa akukho mntu ukufunayo ukudlwengulwa. Ukuba ukhe walixhoba, akunatyala!

Kakade ke, kulula ukufunda igama elithi “akunatyala;” kodwa akulula ukulikholelwa. Abanye abakuthethi oko kwenzekileyo yaye oko kubangela ukuba batyiwe sisazela yaye bahlale bebuhlungu. Ngoko ke, ngaba ngokuthula kwakho unceda wena okanye umxhaphazi? Kutheni ke ngoko ungazami ukulandela la macebiso akweli nqaku?

Thetha Ngento Ekwehleleyo

IBhayibhile ithi xa indoda elilungisa, uYobhi yayibandezeleke ngeyona ndlela yathi: “Ndiza kukukhupha ukuxhalaba kwam ngesiqu sam. Ndiza kuthetha ngobukrakra bomphefumlo wam!” (Yobhi 10:1) Nawe unokuziva bhetele xa unokwenza  oko. Xa uyincokola nomntu omthembileyo loo nto ikwehleleyo, ekuhambeni kwexesha uya kuyamkela uze ube bhetele.

Ukuba ungumKristu kubalulekile ukuba uthethe nomdala webandla. Amazwi athuthuzelayo omalusi onothando aya kukuqinisekisa ukuba ukudlwengulwa kwakho akuthethi kuthi udyobheke sisono somnye umntu. Wafumanisa oko uAnnette. Uthi: “Ndathetha nomhlobo wam osenyongweni, waza yena wandibongoza ukuba ndiye kuxelela abadala. Ngoko ke ndakwenza oko. Bathetha nam kangangezihlandlo ezininzi baza bandixelela kanye oko ndandifuna ukukuva—ukuba andinatyala ngoko kwenzekileyo.”

 Ukuthetha ngento ekwehleleyo uze uchaze indlela ovakalelwa ngayo kunokukubangela ukuba ungahlali ufukame ingqumbo nenzondo. (INdumiso 37:8) Kunokukwenza uthi qabu mhlawumbi okokuqala emva kweminyaka emininzi. Emva kokuba uNatalie exelele abazali bakhe ngokuxhatshazwa kwakhe, wakungqina kuyinyaniso oko. Uthi: “Bandixhasa. Bandikhuthaza ukuba ndithethe ngako yaye oko kwandinceda ukuba ndingahlali ndilusizi yaye ndicaphuka.” Enye into eyamthuthuzelayo ngumthandazo. Uthi: “Ndancedwa kukuthetha noThixo ingakumbi ngamaxesha endandivakalelwa kukuba akukho mntu ndinokuyithetha naye le nto. Ndiye ndithethe ngokukhululekileyo xa ndithandaza. Loo nto indinika uxolo lwengqondo nokuzola.” e

Nawe uya kufumanisa ukuba kukho ‘ixesha lokuphiliswa’ ekuxhatshazweni. (INtshumayeli 3:3) Thembela kubahlobo abanokukuxhasa, njengabadala abafana ‘nendawo yokuzimela umoya nendawo yokuzifihla esiphangweni.’ (Isaya 32:2) Nyamekela umzimba neemvakalelo zakho. Phumla ngokwaneleyo. Ngaphezu kwako konke, thembela kuThixo wentuthuzelo yonke, uYehova, oza kuthi kungekudala azise ihlabathi elitsha apho ‘abenzi bobubi baya kube benqunyulwe, baze abathembele kuYehova bawudle ilifa umhlaba.’—INdumiso 37:9.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Ngemihla yokugqibela kuya kufika amaxesha amanqam ekunzima ukujamelana nawo. Kuba abantu baya kuba ngabazithandayo, . . . abangenawo umsa wemvelo, . . . abangenakuzeyisa, iindlobongela, abangathandi kulunga.”—2 Timoti 3:1-3.

ICEBISO

Ukuba ukhe waxhatshazwa ngokwesini, gcina izibhalo eziza kukuthuthuzela, ezifana neNdumiso 37:28; 46:1; 118:5-9; IMizekeliso 17:17 neyabaseFilipi 4:6, 7.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

EUnited States, abantwana abangaphezu kwabangama-90 ekhulwini badla ngokudlwengulwa ngabantu ababaziyo.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Xa ndiziva ndinetyala ngoko kwenzekileyo, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Kuya kukunceda ngantoni ukuthetha xa uxhatshazwe ngokwesini?

● Yintoni enokwenzeka—kuwe nakwabanye—ukuba akuthethi ngako?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 232]

“Kunzima ukuthetha ngokuxhatshazwa, kodwa yeyona nto inokukunceda. Ukuthetha kunokukunceda ukuba ungahlali ulusizi yaye ucaphukile, kodwa kunokukuhlaziya.”—UNatalie

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 230]

“Ukuba Uyandithanda . . . ”

Abanye abantu abaxhaphaza abantwana ngokwesini ababadlwenguli kodwa bayabaqhatha. Njani? Ngokuthi, “Nguwe wedwa ongekalali namntu,” “Iza kwaziwa sithi sodwa le nto,” okanye njengoko kuchazwe kwiSahluko 24 sale ncwadi, “Ukuba uyandithanda, kutheni ke singalali kunye?” Musa ukulahlekiswa ngumfana ozama ukukweyisela ekubeni xa ulala naye uyamthanda. Nabani na ocinga ngaloo ndlela ucinga ngesiqu sakhe kuphela. Akacingi ngawe okanye impilo-ntle yakho. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, indoda yokwenene iya kukhathalela izinto ozifunayo kunezifunwa yiyo, ize ibonise ukuba ifuna ukubambelela kwimigaqo kaThixo yokuziphatha. (1 Korinte 10:24) Ayisoze ithi xa ibona amantombazana iwabonele ukulala nawo. Kunoko, iza kujonga ‘amabhinqa amancinane njengoodade wayo inobunyulu bonke.’—1 Timoti 5:1, 2.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 233]

Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesini kunokuba ngumthwalo onzima ukuwuthwala wedwa. Kutheni ungaceli omnye umntu akuncede?