Isahluko 37

Kutheni Abazali Bam Bengandivumeli Ukuba Ndonwabe?

Rhoqo ngentsasa yangoMvulo, uAllison waseOstreliya okwishumi elivisayo akonwabi esikolweni.

Uthi: “Bonke abanye abantwana bancokola ngezinto abebezenza ngempelaveki. Babalisa izinto ezibonisa ukuba bebonwabile, njengokuba baye kumatheko amangaphi, nokuba baphuze amakhwenkwe amangaphi—kwanangokubaleka amapolisa. . . . Koyikisa kakhulu kona, kodwa kuvakala kuyinto emnandi! Babuya ngentsimbi yesihlanu ngentseni elandelayo yaye abazali babo abayikhathalele loo nto. Mna ndimele ndibe sendilele kwanangaphambi kokuba bona baye konwaba!

“Emva kokuba bendibalisele ngezinto abazenze ngempelaveki, abantwana endifunda nabo baye babuze mna. . . Ndiye kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu. Ndaya entsimini. Ndivakalelwa kukuba ndiphoswa bubumnandi. Ngoko ndiye ndibaxelele ukuba khange ndenze nto. Ndakutsho baye babuze isizathu sokuba ndingahambanga nabo.

“Lwakudlula usuku lwangoMvulo, uye ucinge ukuba kuza kuba bhetele. Kodwa akubi njalo. NgoLwesibini wonke umntu uthetha ngempelaveki ezayo! Ndidla ngokuhlala nje ndibaphulaphule. Ndiziva ndiphoswa kokuthile!”

 NGABA kuba njalo nakuwe esikolweni ngentsasa yangoMvulo? Usenokuvakalelwa kukuba zininzi iindlela obunokuzonwabisa ngazo, kodwa abazali bakho baxabe endleleni—okanye ngathi usepakini, kodwa akuvunyelwa ukuba ukhwele kwizinto zokudlala ezilapho. Asikuko nokuba ufuna ukwenza yonk’ into eyenziwa ngabahlobo bakho, kodwa ubungathanda ukuba nawe ukhe wonwabe nokuba kukanye. Ngokomzekelo, yintoni obungathanda ukuyenza kule mpelaveki izayo?

□ ngumdaniso

□ kukuya kwikonsathi yomculo

□ kukuya ethekweni

□ kukuya kubukela imovie

□ yenye into ․․․․․

Kuyafuneka ukuzonwabisa. NoMdali wakho ufuna ubunandiphe ubutsha bakho. (INtshumayeli 3:1, 4) Nangona ngamathub’ athile usenokukuthandabuza oko, kodwa qiniseka ukuba nabazali bakho bafuna wonwabe. Noko ke, basenokuxhalabela ezi zinto zimbini zisengqiqweni: (1) into oza kuyenza (2) nabantu oza kuba kunye nabo.

Kuthekani ukuba ucelwa ngabahlobo bakho ukuba niye kuzonwabisa kodwa akwazi nokuba abazali bakho baza kukuvumela kusini na? Khawucinge ngezi zinto zintathu unokukhetha kuzo nemiphumo yazo.

UKHETHO A AKUZUKUCELA KUBAZALI—UZA KUSUKA UHAMBE

Isizathu sokuba ufune ukwenza ngolu hlobo: Ufuna ukubonisa abahlobo bakho ukuba wena akuxhomekekanga kubazali bakho. Ucinga ukuba wazi bhetele kunabazali bakho, okanye akuyikhathalele indlela abazijonga ngayo izinto.—IMizekeliso 14:18.

Imiphumo: Abahlobo bakho basenokukuthanda oko, kodwa baza kufunda nokuba unamaqhinga.  Xa ukwazi ukuqhatha abazali bakho, unokwenjenjalo nakubahlobo bakho. Ukuba abazali bakho bafumanise ukuba uyabaqhatha, baza kukhathazeka baze bazive bengcatshiwe, mhlawumbi bade babe ngathi bayaziqinisa iintambo. Kububudenge ukungabathobeli abazali bakho uze ukhethe ukuhamba nabahlobo.—IMizekeliso 12:15.

UKHETHO B AKUZUKUCELA KUBAZALI—AKUZUKUYA

Isizathu sokuba ufune ukwenza ngolu hlobo: Emva kokuba ucingisisile ngesi sicelo, uyabona ukuba loo nto bakumemela kuyo abahlobo iyangqubana nemilinganiselo onayo okanye abantu abaza kuba lapho abafaneleki. (1 Korinte 15:33; Filipi 4:8) Kwelinye icala, usenokuba uyafuna ukuhamba kodwa uyoyika ukucela kubazali bakho.

Imiphumo: Ukuba akuhambi kuba usazi ukuba loo nto ayifanelekanga, uya kuba nesibindi sokubaphendula abahlobo bakho. Kodwa ukuba akuhambi kuba nje usoyika ukucela kubazali, usenokugqibela ngokuhlala ekhaya uqumbile, uvakalelwa kukuba nguwe kuphela ongavunyelwayo ukuba onwabe.

UKHETHO C UZA KUCELA UZE UBONE UKUBA BAZA KUTHINI

Isizathu sokuba ufune ukwenza ngolu hlobo: Uyabahlonela abazali bakho kwanezigqibo abazenzayo. (Kolose 3:20) Uyabathanda yaye akufuni ukubakhathaza ngokubaqhatha ukuze uhambe nabahlobo bakho. (IMizekeliso 10:1) Kwakhona unethuba elaneleyo lokucela kubo.

 Imiphumo: Abazali bakho baya kubona ukuba uyabathanda yaye uyabahlonela. Ukuba ababoni ngxaki kuloo nto uyicelayo, baya kuvuma.

Isizathu Sokuba Besenokungavumi Abazali Bakho

Kuthekani ukuba abazali bakho abavumi? Isenokukucaphukisa loo nto. Sekunjalo, xa usiqonda isizathu sokungavumi kwabo, akuyi kuba nzima ukwamkela imiqathango abakumisela yona. Ngokomzekelo, basenokungavumi ngenxa yezi zizathu zilandelayo.

Ulwazi namava abanawo. Ukuba bekufuneka ukhethe, ubuya kukhetha ukuqubha kulwandle olunabahlanguli abagadileyo. Kutheni sisitsho nje? Kungenxa yokuba xa uqubha yaye wonwabile akuziboni xa usengozini. Ukanti bona abahlanguli baba kwindawo ephakamileyo ebangela ukuba bayibone ngokukhawuleza ingozi.

Ngokufanayo, ngenxa yolwazi namava abanawo, abazali basenokuba babona iingozi wena ongaziboniyo. Njengabahlanguli baselwandle, asikuba abazali bakho abafuni wonwabe, kunoko bafuna ukukunceda ungangeni engozini eya kubangela ukuba ungonwabi ubomi bakho bonke.

Bayakuthanda. Abazali bakho bafuna ukukukhusela. Luthando olubangela ukuba bavume kwinto abayibona ifanelekile kodwa bangavumi kwengafanelekanga. Xa ucela ukwenza okuthile, bayazibuza ukuba xa bevuma baya kukwazi kusini na ukuphila nemiphumo yoko. Baya kuvuma kuphela xa beqinisekile ukuba akuzi kwenzakala.

 Izinto Onokuzenza Ukuze Bavume

Nazi iindlela ezine onokuzisebenzisa.

Ukunyaniseka: Okokuqala, kufuneka uzibuze ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba: ‘Yintoni ngokwenene ebangela ukuba ndifune ukuhamba? Ngaba esona sizathu siphambili kukuba ndithanda loo nto ndiya kuyo, okanye kukuba ndifuna ukwamkeleka koontanga? Ngaba kungenxa yokuba kuza kube kukho umntu endimthandayo?’ Emva koko, baxelele inyani abazali bakho. Nabo babekhe bangabantwana, yaye bakwazi kakuhle. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba baza kusiqonda esona sizathu sokuba ufune ukuhamba. Baya kuyixabisa indlela onyaniseke ngayo, yaye uya kuzuza kubulumko abanabo. (IMizekeliso 7:1, 2) Kwelinye  icala, ukunganyaniseki kwakho kuya kubangela ukuba bangakuthembi yaye kuya kuba nzima ukuba bakuvumele uhambe.

Khetha ixesha elifanelekileyo lokucela: Mus’ ukubacela xa kanye bevela emsebenzini okanye bexakeke zezinye izinto. Thetha nabo xa beziphumlele. Kodwa ungalindi de kube ngumzuzu wokugqibela ube sele ufuna impendulo ngenkani. Abayi kukuthanda ukwenza isigqibo bengakhange bafumane ithuba lokucingisisa kuqala. Bacele kwangethuba yaye baya kukuvuyela ukubona ukuba uyabacingela.

Chaza yonke into: Baxelele yonke into. Chaza eyona nto ufuna ukuyenza. Abazali abayithandi impendulo ethi “Andazi,” ingakumbi xa bekubuza oku: “Ngoobani abaza kuba lapho?” “Ngaba kuza kubakho umntu omdala apho?” okanye “Iza kuphuma nini loo nto?”

Isimo sengqondo onaso: Mus’ ukubajonga njengeentshaba abazali bakho. Bajonge njengabahlobo—kuba eneneni kunjalo. Ukuba ubajonga njengabahlobo bakho, akuyi kuxambulisana nabo yaye baya kusebenzisana kakuhle nawe. Kulumkele ukuthi “Anindithembi,” “Bonke abanye abantwana bayaya,” okanye “Bona abazali babahlobo bam babavumele!” Babonise ukuba umdala ngokwaneleyo ukuba usamkele isigqibo abasenzayo uze usihloniphe. Ukuba wenjenjalo, nabo baza kukuhlonela. Yaye kwixa elizayo, baya kuzama ukusamkela isicelo sakho.

FUNDA OKUNGAKUMBI NGALO MBANDELA KUMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 32

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Yiba nobulumko, nyana wam, uze uyenze ibe nemihlali intliziyo yam.”—IMizekeliso 27:11.

ICEBISO

Xa usiya kwitheko, cinga ngento oza kuyenza xa izinto zingasahambi kakuhle. Ngaphambi kokuba uhambe, yazi into oza kuyenza noza kuyithetha ukuze ushiyeke unesazela esicocekileyo.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Abazali abanothando baye bazame ukwenza isigqibo esifanelekileyo. Ukuba abayiqondi into oyicelayo okanye bavakalelwa kukuba zikho izinto ozifihlayo, basenokungavumi.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Xa isazela sam sindikhathaza ngenxa yento endiyibonayo okanye endiyivayo xa ndikwi-“movie” okanye kwitheko, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Kutheni usenokuba madolw’ anzima ukuxelela abazali bakho zonke iinkcukacha abazifunayo ukuze benze isigqibo?

● Inokuba yintoni imiphumo yokuba abazali bakho bavume kuba bengazazi zonke iinkcukacha?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 268]

“Ngoxa ndandiselula ndandisisidenge ngokwenene. Ndafumanisa ukuba ezinye izinto ezazindonwabisa, ekuhambeni kwexesha zazingandonwabisi. Izinto ozenzayo ziya kukujikela ngenye imini. Ndiyazisola ngokungabaphulaphuli abazali bam.”—UBrian

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 269]

Njengabahlanguli elwandle, abazali bakho bayakwazi ukukubona xa usengozini