Isahluko 10

Bekutheni Ukuze Umhlobo Wam Andikhathaze?

“Ndandivana gqitha noKerry. Ekubeni wayengenamoto, ndandigqitha ngaye ndimkhwelise xa ndivela emsebenzini. Noko ke, ndakhawuleza ndabona ukuba uyandiqhatha.

“Wayengena emotweni ethetha okanye ebhala imiyalezo efowunini. Wayengasandiniki nesenti emdaka ngokumkhwelisa kwam, kunani khona ukuba abulele! Wayesoloko egxeka. Iyandicaphukisa into yokuba ndamnyamezela ixesha elide kangako!

“Ngeny’ imini ndamchazela ngobubele uKerry ukuba andizukuphinda ndikwazi ukugqitha ngaye xa ndivela emsebenzini. Ukususela ngoko akasandihoyi nokundihoy’ oku—nto leyo endenza ndiqiniseke ngakumbi ukuba wayengengomhlobo wokwenene, kunoko wayendixhaphaza. Yaye kubuhlungu gqitha ukuphathwa ngaloo ndlela!”—UNicole.

OKU KUNOKWENZEKA nakubahlobo abasenyongweni. Namhlanje basenokuvana gqitha; kuse ngomso bengasathethisani.  Yenzeka njani into yokuba abantu abavanayo bajike babe ziintshaba?

● Umhlobo kaJeremy wamshiy’ enyanyeni esakuba efudukele kwindawo ekude. UJeremy uthi: “Akazange azidube nokuziduba ngokundifowunela yaye oko kwandikhathaza gqitha.”

● UKerrin waqalisa ukuphawula utshintsho kumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni owayevana naye kangangeminyaka emihlanu. UKerrin uthi: “Ndandingazithandi iincoko zakhe nesimo sakhe sengqondo. Wayethetha kakubi enyemba izinto endizigqala njengezibalulekileyo. Xa ndizama ukuthetha naye ngale meko, wandidla ngamazinyo esithi ndizenza bhetele, andinyanisekanga yaye akasafuni ukuba ngumhlobo wam!”

● UGloria wasuka walahlwa ngumhlobo wakhe omkhulu ngaphandle kwesizathu. Uthi: “Ekuqaleni sasivana, yaye wandixelel’ ukuba undithatha njengodadewabo. Andazanga ukuba kutheni, ndabona engasandihoyanga, xa ndimbuza abeke izizathu ezingavakaliyo.”

● ULaura wacatshukiswa ngumhlobo wakhe uDaria ngokuthi athandane nomfana awayethandana naye. ULaura uthi: “Wayesazi kakuhle ukuba siyathandana, kodwa  zaziqengqeleka iiyure encokola naye efowunini. Ndaphoxwa ngumhlobo wam osenyongweni, ndaphoswa nangumtshato!”

Konakele Phi?

Sonke siyazenza iimpazamo. Ngoko ilindelekile into yokuba umhlobo wakho athethe okanye enze into ekukhathazayo. Enyanisweni, nawe ukhe ubakhathaze abanye. (INtshumayeli 7:22) “Sonke asifezekanga, yaye siyakrwempana maxa wambi,” utsho njalo uLisa. Kodwa amanxetyana anjalo anokupholiswa ngokuthetha.

Noko ke, kwezinye iimeko ubuhlobo abupheliswa yingxabano nje enye, kodwa njengoko ixesha lihamba nisenokuphawula ukuba nahluke gqitha. Khumbula ukuba, njengoko ukhula, akusathandi izinto owawuzithanda—yaye nomhlobo wakho uvakalelwa ngaloo ndlela. Yintoni ke onokuyenza xa uphawula ukuba anisavani kangako?

Ukulungisa Izinto Kwakhona

Ngaba wakha wakrazukelwa yimpahla oyithandayo? Wenza ntoni ngayo? Ngaba  wayilahla? okanye wayithunga? Enyanisweni, kuxhomekeka ekubeni ikrazuke kangakanani, nasekuthini uyixabise kangakanani. Ukuba wawuyithanda nyhani loo mpahla, umel’ ukuba wazama ukuyithunga. Kunjalo ke nangokuxabana kwabahlobo. Kuxhomekeka kwinto enixabanisileyo nakwindlela obuxabise ngayo obo buhlobo. a

Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ukhathazwe yinto ethethwe okanye eyenziwe ngumntu othile, unokuhlangabezana naloo ngxaki ngokusebenzisa icebiso elikwiNdumiso 4:4 elithi: “Thethani entliziyweni yenu, emandlalweni wenu, nize nithi cwaka.” Ngoko ngaphambi kokuba umnikel’ umva umhlobo wakho, cingisisa kakuhle. Ngaba wenze ngabom? Ukuba akuqinisekanga, kutheni ungasuki ulibale ngayo? Kwiimeko ezininzi unokuvumela ‘uthando lugubungele inkitha yezono.’—1 Petros 4:8.

Usenokuzibuza enoba akubanga nagalelo kusini na kule ngxaki. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umhlobo wakho udize ihlebo lakho, akungebi mhlawumbi bekungebobulumko ngawe kwasekuqaleni ukumxelela loo nto?  Omnye umbuzo onokuzibuza wona ngowokuba akungebi uzibeke ngokwakho esichengeni sokugculelwa—mhlawumbi ngokuloqa kakhulu okanye ngokuthetha into yobudenge? (IMizekeliso 15:2) Ukuba kunjalo, zibuze, ‘Ngaba ndifanele ndenze utshintsho ukuze umhlobo wam andihlonele ngakumbi?’

“Ngaba Singathetha Ngento Eyenzekileyo?”

Noko ke, kuthekani ukuba kunzima ukuyilibala into eyenziwe ngumhlobo wakho? Xa kunjalo kubhetele ukuthetha naye. Kodwa lumkela ukuba ungathethi naye ngoxa usacaphukile. IBhayibhile ithi: “Indoda enomsindo ixhokonxa usukuzwano, kodwa ozeka kade umsindo udambisa ingxabano.” (IMizekeliso 15:18) Ngoko linda ude uhle umsindo ngaphambi kokuba uthethe naye.

Xa ude wathetha nomhlobo wakho, khumbula ukuba injongo yakho ‘asikokubuyisela ububi ngobubi.’ (Roma 12:17)  Kodwa kukulungisa ingxabano ukuze niphinde nivane. (INdumiso 34:14) Ngoko thetha ngokunyanisekileyo. Usenokuthi, “Sekulithuba singabahlobo. Ngaba singathetha ngento eyenzekileyo?” Wakuba umazile unobangela wengxaki, kusenokuba lula ukuyilungisa. Nokuba umhlobo wakho akafuni nithethe, usenokuvuyiswa kukuba wena uwenzile umzamo wokuba nixolelane.

Qiniseka ukuba, nangona ‘wambi amaqabane esonakalisana,’ kukho “umhlobo onamathela ngokusondele ngakumbi kunomntakwenu.” (IMizekeliso 18:24) Enyanisweni, nabona bahlobo basenyongweni bakhe babhidane maxa wambi. Xa oko kusenzeka, zama kangangoko unako ukuqinisa ubuhlobo benu kwakhona. Eneneni, xa uzama ukulungisa izinto ubonisa ukuba uyakhula.

FUNDA OKUNGAKUMBI NGALO MBANDELA KUMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 8

KWISAHLUKO ESILANDELAYO

Abanye boontanga bakho basenokuchitha iiyure bencokola ngeInternet. Yintoni le ingaka ibatsalayo?

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Ukuba kunokwenzeka, zamani ngokusemandleni enu, ukuba noxolo nabantu bonke.”—Roma 12:18.

ICEBISO

Ngaphambi kokuba ufikelele kwisigqibo esithile ngomhlobo wakho, mnike ithuba lokuchaza indlela avakalelwa ngayo.—IMizekeliso 18:13.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Abahlobo abasoloko bethe nca omnye komnye. (IMizekeliso 25:17) Kaloku, ukungamphi thuba lakuphefumla umhlobo wakho ngokuthatha lonke ixesha nengqalelo yakhe, kusenokunixabanisa.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Xa kufuneka ndithethe nomhlobo wam ngentlungu andivise yona, ndisenokuqala ngokuthi ․․․․․

Kwanokuba undicaphukisile umhlobo wam, ndiza kuzama ukulungisa ingxaki ngokuthi ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Yintoni edla ngokuxabanisa abahlobo?

● Ziziphi izinto onokusuka umxolele kuzo umhlobo wakho, yaye ziziphi ekuya kufuneka uthethe naye ngazo?

● Yintoni onokuyifunda xa umhlobo wakho ekukhathazile?

● Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze umhlobo wakho angakukhathazi?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 95]

“Ukuba besinokuqala phantsi kwakhona, bendingayi kulindela ukuba umhlobo wam angabi nazimpazamo. Bendiya kumphulaphula ngakumbi, ndimxhase yaye ndingajongi iintsilelo zakhe. Ngoku ndiyaqonda ukuba ukuze ubuhlobo buphumelele bumele butyhubele iimvavanyo neenzingo.”—UKeenon

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 94]

Ukuxabana kwabahlobo kufana nokukrazuka kwempahla—kodwa zombini zinokulungiswa