Isahluko 24

Ndimele Ndenze Ntoni Xa Abazali Bam Bexambulisana?

Ngaba abazali bakho bakhe baxambulisane phambi kwakho? Ukuba kunjalo, ziziphi izinto abadla ngokuxambulisana ngazo kwezi?

□ Ngemali

□ Ngemisebenzi yasekhaya

□ Ngezizalwana

□ Ngawe

Yintoni ongathanda ukuyixelela abazali bakho ngokuphathelele indlela okukuchaphazela ngayo oku? Yibhale apha ngezantsi.

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 UYACHAPHAZELEKA xa abazali bakho bexambulisana. Kaloku, uyabathanda, kwaye uxhomekeke kwinkxaso yabo. Ngenxa yoko kunokukudimaza ukubeva bexambulisana. Mhlawumbi uyavumelana noMarie xa esithi, “Kunzima ukuhlonela abazali bam xa bona kuqala kunzima ukuba bahlonelane.”

Xa ubona abazali bakho bexambulisana utsho uqonde ukuba abafezekanga. Oko kunokukwenza ube noloyiko. Ukuba baxabana qho usenokucinga ukuba umtshato wabo usecicini lokuqhawuka. UMarie uthi: “Xa abazali bam besilwa, ndidla ngokucinga ukuba baza kuqhawula umtshato kufuneke mna ndikhethe endiza kuhlala naye. Enye into endiye ndiyoyike kukwahlukaniswa nabantwana basekhaya.”

Kutheni abazali bakho bexambulisana, yaye umele wenze ntoni xa beqalisa ukuxabana?

Isizathu Sokuba Abazali Baxambulisane

Abazali bakho ‘banokunyamezelana ngothando.’ (Efese 4:2) Kodwa iBhayibhile ithi: “Bonke bonile baza basilela kuzuko lukaThixo.” (Roma 3:23) Abazali bakho abafezekanga. Ngoko akumele wothuke xa becaphukisana baze ngamanye amaxesha baxambulisane.

Khumbula ukuba, siphila ‘kumaxesha amanqam ekunzima ukujamelana nawo.’ (2 Timoti 3:1) Imbopheleleko yokuziphilisa, ukuhlawula iindleko zekhaya, iingxaki zasemsebenzini—zonke ezi zinto ziyawuchaphazela umtshato. Ukuba abazali bayasebenza bobabini, basenokuphikisana ngokwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya.

Qiniseka ukuba ukungavisisani kwabazali bakho akuthethi ukuba umtshato wabo uyaqhawuka. Unokuqiniseka ukuba  abazali bakho bayathandana nakuba bebona izinto ngendlela engafaniyo.

Ngokomzekelo: Ngaba wakha wabukela imovie nabahlobo bakho waza waphawula ukuba imbono yakho yahlukile kweyabo ngaloo movie? Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Nkqu nabantu abasondeleleneyo basenokubona ezinye izinto ngendlela engafaniyo. Kuyafana ke nangabazali bakho. Mhlawumbi bobabini banenkxalabo ngeendleko zentsapho, kodwa baneembono ezahlukileyo ngoqingqo-mali; bobabini baceba ukuba intsapho iye kubethwa ngumoya, kodwa nakuleyo inkalo baneembono ezahlukahlukeneyo; okanye bobabini bafuna uphumelele esikolweni, kodwa bayaphikisana ngokuphathelele indlela onokuphumelela ngayo.

Nantsi ingongoma, abantu abevanayo akunyanzelekanga ukuba bacinge ngendlela efanayo. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu ababini abathandanayo basenokubona izinto ngendlela engafaniyo. Sekunjalo, akumnandanga ukuphulaphula abazali bakho bexabana. Yintoni omele uyenze okanye uyithethe enokukunceda unyamezele?

Omele Ukwenze

Yiba nentlonelo. Bayacaphukisa abazali abasoloko bexambulisana. Ngaphezu koko, ngabazali abafanele bamisele umzekelo omhle ebantwaneni babo. Kodwa ke, ukudelela abazali bakho kunokubangela iingxaki ezingakumbi entsatsheni. Okubaluleke nangakumbi kukuba, uYehova uThixo ukuyalela ukuba ubahlonele uze ubathobele abazali bakho—kwanaxa kunzima ukwenjenjalo.—Eksodus 20:12; IMizekeliso 30:17.

 Kodwa ke, kuthekani ukuba abazali bakho baxabana ngawe? Ngokomzekelo, masithi omnye umzali wakho ngumKristu kanti omnye akakholwa. Kusenokuphakama ingxaki ephathelele unqulo, kuze kufuneke ukuba wena nomzali wakho owoyika uThixo nimele unqulo lwenyaniso. (Mateyu 10:34-37) Kodwa ufanele ukwenze oko “ngomoya wobulali nentlonelo enzulu.” Oko kunokumnceda umzali wakho ongakholwayo abe likholwa ngenye imini.—1 Petros 3:15.

Ungathathi cala. Unokwenza ntoni ke xa abazali bakho befuna ukukufaka kwingxaki yentsapho ekude nawe? Zama ukungathathi cala. Mhlawumbi unokuzama ukuzikhupha kuloo ngxabano ngokuthi: “Mama notata, ndinithanda nobabini. Kodwa ndiyanicela, ningathi mandikhethe icala. Ingathi lo mbandela ufuna nina nobabini.”

Thetha nabo. Baxelele abazali bakho indlela ovakalelwa ngayo xa bexambulisana. Thetha nabo xa uqonda ukuba baza kukuphulaphula kakuhle uze ubaxelele ngentlonelo ukuba xa bexabana uyakhathazeka, ube nomsindo yaye woyike.—IMizekeliso 15:23; Kolose 4:6.

Oko Ungamele Ukwenze

Musa ukuzenza umcebisi wabantu abatshatileyo. Njengomntu oselula, akunakulungisa iingxaki zabazali bakho.  Ngokomzekelo: Masithi ukhwele inqwelo-moya encinane uze uve umqhubi nomncedisi wakhe bexambulisana. Ngokuqinisekileyo uza kucaphuka. Kodwa yintoni enokwenzeka xa unokuxelela abaqhubi benqwelo-moya indlela abamele bayiqhube ngayo okanye ude uzame ukuyiqhuba ngokwakho?

Ngokufanayo, xa uzama ukulungisa iingxaki zomtshato wabazali bakho unokwenza izinto zibe mbi nangakumbi. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ngokukhukhumala ubani ubangela usukuzwano kuphela, kodwa kwabo babhunga kunye kukho ubulumko.” (IMizekeliso 13:10) Ngokuqinisekileyo abazali bakho banokuzicombulula bhetele iingxaki zabo bebodwa.—IMizekeliso 25:9.

 Musa ukungenelela. Ukuphulaphula abantu ababini bexambulisana akuthandeki. Kunokubeka phi ke xa nawe ungenelela koko kuxambulisana? Enoba unqwenela ukungenelela kuloo ngxabano, umele uqonde ukuba abazali bakho bamele bazicombulule ngokwabo iingxaki zabo. Zama ukulandela icebiso leBhayibhile lokuba ‘ungagxuphuleki kwimicimbi yabanye.’ (1 Tesalonika 4:11) Musa ukuzifaka kwiingxabano zabazali bakho.

Musa ukubaxabanisa abazali bakho. Olunye ulutsha ludla ngokuthelekisa abazali balo ukuze baxabane. Xa umama engavumi, babalekela kutata bamcenge ukuba avume. Obo buqhinga bunokwenza ukwazi ukufumana oko ukufunayo, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha kunokubangela ingxaki entsatsheni.

Musa ukuvumela indlela abenza ngayo izinto ichaphazele isimilo sakho. UPeter oselula wabona ukuba wenza izinto ezingawafanelanga amaKristu kuba efuna ukuziphindezela kuyise owayebaxhaphaza. UPeter uthi: “Ndandifuna akhathazeke. Ndandimcaphukela ngenxa yendlela  awayesiphethe ngayo mna nomama nodadewethu.” Kungekudala uPeter kwafuneka avune akulimileyo. Sifunda ntoni koku? Ukwenza izinto ezingafanelekanga kuya kwenza ingxaki yakowenu ibe mbi nangakumbi.—Galati 6:7.

Bhala apha iingongoma ezikwesi sahluko ofuna ukuphucula kuzo. ․․․․․

Kucacile ukuba, akunakukwazi ukubanqanda abazali bakho ukuba bangaxambulisani. Kodwa qiniseka ukuba uYehova unokukunceda ukwazi ukuyinyamezela loo meko.—Filipi 4:6, 7; 1 Petros 5:7.

Zama kangangoko ukusebenzisa la macebiso angasentla. Ekuhambeni kwexesha abazali bakho banokuzama ukucombulula iingxaki zabo. Mhlawumbi bangade bayeke nokuxambulisana.

KWISAHLUKO ESILANDELAYO

Unokujamelana njani neengxaki zokukhuliswa ngumzali omnye?

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Amazwi enu makasoloko ekholekile.”—Kolose 4:6

ICEBISO

Ukuba abazali bakho bahlala bexambulisana, ngentlonelo bacebise ukuba bafune uncedo.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Nabantu abathandanayo bakhe bangaboni ngasonye maxa wambi.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Xa abazali bam beqalisa ukuxambulisana ndiza ․․․․․

Ukuba abazali bam bafuna ndithathe icala ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Yintoni ebangela abanye abazali baxambulisane?

● Kutheni ungamele uzibek’ ityala ngeengxaki zabazali bakho?

● Yintoni onokuyifunda kwindlela abaziphethe ngayo abazali bakho?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 201]

“Ukwazi ukuba abazali bam abafezekanga yaye baneengxaki zabo njengokuba nam ndinazo, kuye kwandenza ndakwazi ukunyamezela xa bexabana.”—UKathy.

 [Ibhokisi/Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 206, 207]

Yintoni endinokuyenza xa abazali bam besahlukana?

Yintoni ekunokuba bubulumko ukuyenza xa abazali bakho besahlukana phezu kwayo nje intlungu okuyo? Khawuqwalasele la macebiso alandelayo:

● Musa ukuba nolindelo olukhulu. Unokunqwenela ukwenza okuthile ukuze abazali bakho babuyelane. UAnne uthi: “Nasemva kokwahlukana kwabo, sasidla ngokuphuma sonke njengentsapho. Mna nodadewethu sasidla ngokusebezelana sithi, ‘Masibashiye bodwa.’ Kodwa, oko akuzange kuncede nganto. Abazange babuyelane.”

IMizekeliso 13:12 ithi: “Ulindelo olubanjezelweyo lugulisa intliziyo.” Ukuze ungakhathazeki kakhulu, khumbula ukuba akunako ukulawula indlela abazali bakho abenza ngayo izinto. Abohlukaniswanga nguwe, ingenguwe nonokungciba umtshato wabo.—IMizekeliso 26:17.

● Musa ukubathiya. Ukubaqumbela okanye ukubathiya abazali bakho kungagqibela kukwenzakalisa. Echaza indlela awayevakalelwa ngayo xa wayeneminyaka eli-12 ubudala, uTom uthi: “Ndandimqumbele utata. Andifuni kuthi ‘ndandimthiyile,’ kodwa ndandinenzondo. Wayenokutsho njani ukuba usikhathalele akugqiba asishiye?”

Ukwahlukana akuthethi kuthi omnye umzali unetyala ngoxa omnye emsulwa. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba abazali bakho abakuxelelanga zonke iingxaki zomtshato wabo okanye izizathu zokwahlukana kwabo; mhlawumbi nabo abasazi ncam isizathu sokuba bohlukane. Musa ukubagxeka xa ungazazi zonke iinkcukacha. (IMizekeliso 18:13) Yinyaniso ukuba, kunzima ukuzibamba xa unomsindo yaye asinto ingaqhelekanga ukukhathazeka maxa wambi. Kodwa ukuhlala unomsindo nentiyo kunokukwenzakalisa. Ngenxa yoko iBhayibhile ithi: “Wuyeke umsindo uyishiye ingqumbo.”—INdumiso 37:8.

 ● Yiba nengqiqo. Kunokuba lumthiye umzali ongahlali nalo, olunye ulutsha lusuke lumthande ngokugqithiseleyo. Ngokomzekelo, uyise womnye umfana wayelinxila ethanda namabhinqa, yaye wayesoloko eyishiya intsapho yakhe, ibe ekugqibeleni waqhawula umtshato. Kodwa lo mfana uthi ngesizathu nje esithile wayemthanda gqitha uyise!

Akunto ingaqhelekanga ukuthanda umntu ngolo hlobo. Kwelinye ilizwe, malunga nabantwana abangama-90 ekhulwini abanabazali abaqhawule umtshato bahlala noonina, ngoxa bemana ukutyelela ooyise. Ngoko, banyanyekelwa baze baqeqeshwe ngoonina. Nakuba bexhaswa ngemalana ethile, oomama abadli ngakufumana mali ingako emva kokuqhawula umtshato. Kwelinye icala, ooyise basenokuphila ubomi obutofotofo kuba bengasenazo iimbopheleleko zentsapho. Oku kudla ngokuphumela ekubeni, xa aba bantwana betyelele ooyise bafumane izipho kuze kube mnandi. Ukanti, xa behleli nomama kufuneka bonge baze baqeqeshwe. Okulusizi kukuba, olunye ulutsha luye lwashiya umzali ongumKristu kuba lufuna ukuhlala naloo mzali ungakholwayo kodwa unemali noza kuluvumela lwenze unothanda.—IMizekeliso 19:4.

Ukuba nawe ucinga ngokwenza oko, kuya kufuneka ucinge ngezinto ezibalulekileyo. Khumbula ukuba kubalulekile ukuqeqeshwa nokukhuliswa ngendlela efanelekileyo. Akukho nto ibaluleke ngaphezu kwaleyo onokuyenzelwa ngumzali neya kuphucula ubomi bakho.—IMizekeliso 4:13.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 202, 203]

Umntu oselula oxelela abazali bakhe indlela yokucombulula iingxaki zabo ufana nomntu okhwele kwinqwelo-moya oxelela abaqhubi bayo indlela yokuyiqhuba