Isahluko 25

Ngaba Ndinokonwaba Ndikhuliswa Ngumzali Omnye?

“Ngamnye kubantwana abakhuliswa ngabazali babo bobabini unokuba negumbi lakhe lokulala aze athengelwe neempahla ezintsha. Kodwa thina ekhaya abantwana balala kwigumbi elinye; andifane ndithengelwe impahla endiyithandayo. Umama uthi akanamali yakusithengela. Ekubeni kufuneka ndenze wonke umsebenzi wasekhaya xa umama esemsebenzini, kuba ngathi ndisisicakakazi—ndenziwa umntu omdala ngenkani.”—UShalonda, oneminyaka eli-13 ubudala.

 AKUTHANDABUZEKI ukuba, kumnandi ukukhuliswa ngabazali abakuthandayo bobabini. Xa bebobabini abazali badla ngokukwazi ukukubonisa indlela, bakukhusele yaye bakuncede. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ababini balunge ngakumbi kunomnye, ngenxa yokuba banomvuzo ngomsebenzi wabo onzima.”—INtshumayeli 4:9.

Nakuba eyinyaniso la mazwi angasentla, okubuhlungu kukuba zinqongophele iintsapho ezinabo bobabini abazali. Ngokomzekelo, ngaphezu kwesiqingatha sabantwana baseUnited States bathi bengekafiki kwiminyaka eli-18 ubudala babe sebehlala nomzali omnye.

Nakuba kuqhelekile oku, bambi abantwana abakhuliswa ngumzali omnye abayithandi le meko. Abanye bakufumanisa kunzima ukujamelana neengxaki zobomi. Ukuba ukhuliswa ngumzali omnye ziziphi iingxaki ojamelana nazo? Bhala apha ngezantsi ezona ngxaki zikukhathazayo.

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Ngaba ukunganyanyekelwa kwakho ngomnye umzali, kuthetha ukuba akunakuze wonwabe? Akunjalo! Ubukhulu becala le meko ixhomekeke kwindlela oyijonga ngayo. IMizekeliso 15:15 ithi: “Yonke imihla yoxhwalekileyo mibi; kodwa onentliziyo echwayitileyo uba netheko rhoqo.” Njengokuba lo mzekeliso usitsho, ukuze umntu onwabe kuxhomekeke kwisimo sengqondo anaso kungekhona kwimeko akuyo. Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze ube ‘nentliziyo echwayitileyo’ phezu kwayo nje imeko okuyo?

Oko Unokukwenza Xa Udandathekile

Okokuqala, musa ukuvumela izinto ezingakhiyo ezithethwa ngabanye zikudandathekise. Ngokomzekelo, abanye ootitshala baye bangabi novelwano kubantwana abakhuliswa ngumzali omnye. Bambi bade batyhole loo meko yasekhaya kuyo nantoni na ephosakeleyo eyenziwa nguloo mntwana. Kodwa khawuzibuze: ‘Ngaba abantu abathetha ezi zinto bayazi kakuhle intsapho yakuthi? Okanye, ngaba  bathetha nje into abadla ngokuyiva ngeentsapho ezinomzali omnye?’

Kubangel’ umdla ukwazi ukuba ibinzana elithi “inkwenkwe engenayise” livela izihlandlo ezininzi eZibhalweni. Akukho naphi na apho eli gama lisetyenziswa ngendlela ethoba isidima. Kunoko, phantse naphi apho livela khona, uYehova utyhila indlela abaxhalabele ngayo abantwana abakhuliswa ngumzali omnye. a

Kwelinye icala, beneenjongo ezintle abanye basenokukuvela ngokugqithiseleyo xa bethetha nawe. Ngokomzekelo, basenokukuphepha ukusebenzisa amagama athi “utata,” “umtshato,” “uqhawulo-mtshato,” okanye “ukufa” besoyikela ukuba uza kukhubeka okanye ube neentloni. Ngaba nawe iyakuphazamisa loo nto? Ukuba kunjalo, babonise ngobuchule ukuba akuyomfuneko oko xa bethetha nawe. UTony uneminyaka eli-14 ubudala, zange ambone uyise. Uthi abanye abantu bayakuphepha ukusebenzisa amagama athile. Kodwa uTony yena uyawasebenzisa loo magama xa ethetha nabo. Uthi: “Ndifuna bazi ukuba andinantloni ngemeko endikuyo.”

Kuphephe ukuthi “Akwaba”

Yinyaniso ukuba, yinto yokwemvelo ukuba buhlungu xa abazali bakho beqhawule umtshato okanye omnye efile. Nakuba kunjalo, umele ukwamkele oko. IBhayibhile inikela eli cebiso: “Musa ukuthi: ‘Kutheni le nto imihla yangaphambili ibilunge ngakumbi kunale?’” (INtshumayeli 7:10) Kule nkalo, uSarah oneminyaka eli-13 ubudala, onabazali  abaqhawula umtshato eseneminyaka eli-10 ubudala ucebisa oku: “Musa ukuzingcungcuthekisa ngemeko okuyo, uman’ usithi “akwaba,” okanye ucinge ukuba iingxaki onazo zibangelwa kukukhuliswa ngumzali omnye, mhlawumbi ucinge ukuba abantwana abanabazali bobabini baphila kamnandi.” Licebiso elihle kakhulu elo. Ngaphezu koko, neentsapho ezinabo bobabini abazali zinazo iingxaki.

Masithi intsapho yakowenu iqhuba iphenyane ngamaphini. Bekuya kuba lula gqitha xa kukho abaqhubi abaneleyo. Kodwa kwintsapho enomzali omnye, elinye ilungu alikho, ngoko abanye kufuneka basebenze nangakumbi. Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba intsapho yakowenu ayinakuphumelela? Akunjalo! Logama nje onke amalungu esebenza kunye, eli phenyane liya kuhlala lingaphezu kwamanzi yaye liza kufika apho liya khona.

 Ngaba Uyayidlala Indima Yakho?

Yintoni kanye onokuyenza ukuqinisekisa ukuba, njengabanye entsatsheni, nawe uyayidlala eyakho indima? Zama la macebiso mathathu:

Yonga imali. Imali idla ngokuba yeyona ngxaki kwiintsapho ezinomzali omnye. Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze uncedise kowenu? UTony esikhe sathetha ngaye uthi: “Esikolweni abantwana banyanzela abazali ukuba babathengele iiteki neempahla ezibizwa ngamagama. Abayi esikolweni xa bengazithengelwanga. Andinazo mna ezo mpahla kodwa ndicocekile yaye ndiyazinyamekela ezo ndinazo. Umama wenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukusinyamekela yaye andifuni kumthwalisa umthwalo onzima.” Nawe unokuxelisa umpostile uPawulos owathi: “Ndiye ndafunda ukwaneliswa zizinto endinazo . . . , ukuze naphi na, nanini na ndihlale ndanelisekile.”—Filipi 4:11, 12, TEV.

Enye indlela yokonga imali kukuphepha ukusafaza. (Yohane 6:12) URodney oselula uthi: “Ekhaya ndiyakulumkela ukwaphula izinto okanye ukuzilahla, kuba kubiza imali ukuzilungisa nokuzithenga. Ndiyazicima izinto zombane xa ndingazisebenzisi. Oku kunciphisa iindleko zombane.”

Ncedisa umzali wakho. Abazali abaninzi ababakhulisa bodwa abantwana babo badla ngokuba madolw’ anzima ukubabekel’ imithetho okanye ukubathuma. Ngoba? Abanye bacinga ukuba bafanele bavale isikhewu somzali ongekhoyo  ngokubenza lula ubomi babantwana babo. Basenokuthi: ‘Andifuni abantwana bam bangonwabi.’

Xa umzali wakho evakalelwa ngolo hlobo kunokuba lula ukumxhaphaza. Kodwa oko kuya kuzenza nzima nangakumbi iimeko zakhe. Kunoko, kutheni ungazami ukumncedisa? Makhe sibone oko kwenziwa nguTony. Uthi: “Umama usebenza esibhedlele yaye kufuneka iayinwe iyunifomu yakhe. Ngoko, ndiye ndiyiayine ngokwam.” Asingomsebenzi wamantombazana na lowo? UTony uthi: “Abanye bacinga ngaloo ndlela. Kodwa ke oko ndikwenza ukuze ndincedisane nomama.”

Bonakalisa Umbulelo. Ngaphezu kokuncedisa nje kuphela unako ukukhuthaza umzali wakho ngokumbulela.  Omnye umzali okhulisa abantwana yedwa wabhala wathi: “Ndifumanisa ukuba xa ndidimazekile, izinto zingahambanga kakuhle emsebenzini ndidla ngokufika ekhaya intombazana yam seyilungise itafile, ipheka.” Lo mama wongezelela athi: “Ndithi ndingena unyana abe sele endanga.” Uvakalelwa njani lo mama ngenxa yoku? Uthi: “Ndiye ndizive ndihlaziyekile kwakhona.”

Bhala apha eyona nkalo umele usebenzele kuyo kakhulu kwezi zintathu zingasentla. ․․․․․

Ukukhuliswa ngumzali omnye kukwenza ube neempawu ezifana novelwano, ukungazingci nokuthembeka. Ukongezelela koko, uYesu wathi: “Kunoyolo ngakumbi ukupha kunokwamkela.” (IZenzo 20:35) Ungalufumana olu yolo xa usenza konke ukuze uncedise umzali wakho.

Kakade, ngamanye amaxesha usenokunqwenela ukuba nomzali wesibini. Sekunjalo, kuninzi onokukwenza ukuze uphumelele. Koko kanye okwafunyaniswa nguNia. Uthi: “Emva kokufa kukatata, omnye umntu wathi ‘kuxhomekeke kuwe ukuba ubomi bakho buza kuba njani,’ yaye loo mazwi asankenteza nangoku kum. Andenza ndaqonda ukuba andimele ndivumele imeko endikuyo indenze ndingonwabi.” Nawe unokuba neso simo sengqondo. Khumbula ukuba, asiyomeko okuyo ekwenza wonwabe okanye ungonwabi. Yindlela oyijonga ngayo imeko yakho nendlela ojamelana ngayo nayo.

FUNDA OKUNGAKUMBI NGALO MXHOLO KUMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 4

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

‘Nyamekelani, kungekuphela nje izilangazelelo zobuqu, kodwa kwanezilangazelelo zabanye.’—Filipi 2:4.

ICEBISO

Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba iimbopheleleko onazo zingaphezu kwamandla akho, cela umzali wakho ukuba azame oku:

● Enze uludwe lwemisebenzi emele yenziwe lilungu ngalinye lentsapho.

● Xa kuyimfuneko, ayinike abanye loo misebenzi ungenakukwazi ukuyenza.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Ukuba neembopheleleko ezingakumbi ekhaya kuya kukunceda uqole ngokukhawuleza kunabantwana abakhuliswa ngabazali babo bobabini, nabadla ngokungabi nazimbopheleleko zingako.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Nantsi into endiza kuyenza ukulwa neemvakalelo ezingakhiyo ․․․․․

Ukuba abantu bandivela ngokugqithiseleyo xa bethetha nam ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Kutheni abanye abantu bebajongela phantsi abantwana abakhuliswa ngumzali omnye?

● Yintoni enokwenza kube nzima ngomzali wakho ukukuthuma imisebenzi yasekhaya?

● Unokuwubonisa njani umbulelo kumzali wakho?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 211]

“Ukususela ekuqhawuleni kwabazali bam umtshato, ndiye ndakwazi ukuncokola nomama yaye singabahlobo abasenyongweni.”—UMelanie.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 210, 211]

Intsapho enomzali omnye ifana nephenyane elinabaqhubi abangaphelelanga—abo bakhoyo kufuneka basebenze nangakumbi, kodwa banokuphumelela ukuba bayasebenzisana