Isahluko 14

Ndinokuzikhusela Njani Esikolweni?

Ngaba yinyaniso okanye bubuxoki?

1. Ukungcungcuthekiswa kubhekisela ekubethweni kuphela.

□ Yinyaniso

□ Bubuxoki

2. Ukukhathazwa ngokwesini kubandakanya ukuphathaphatha kuphela.

□ Yinyaniso

□ Bubuxoki

3. Namantombazana asenokubangcungcuthekisa yaye abakhathaze abanye ngokwesini.

□ Yinyaniso

□ Bubuxoki

4. Ukuba uyangcungcuthekiswa okanye ukhathazwa ngokwesini, akukho nto unokuyenza.

□ Yinyaniso

□ Bubuxoki

 IZIGIDI zolutsha ziphila ubomi bentshontsho mihla le ngenxa yokungcungcuthekiswa esikolweni. URyan oselula uthi: “Lwalungathi alusapheli olo hambo lwemizuzu eli-15 ngebhasi kuba ndandithukwa yaye ndibethwa.” Olunye ulutsha lukhathazwa ngokwesini. UAnita oselula uthi: “Ndavingcelwa epasejini yenye inkwenkwe ethandwa ngumntu wonke yaza yaqalisa ukundiphathaphatha. Ndayicela kakuhle ukuba indiyeke kodwa oko akuzange kuncede. Yayicing’ ukuba ndiyaqhula.”

Abanye abasebatsha babhalelwa izinto ezingcolileyo kwikhompyutha ngabo bafunda nabo. Ngaba nawe uyaxhatshazwa? Ukuba kunjalo, yintoni onokuyenza? Zininzi izinto onokuzenza! Kodwa okokuqala, makhe sibone amabinzana ayinyaniso nabubuxoki kula akhankanywe ekuqaleni kwesi sahluko.

 1. Bubuxoki. Abo bangcungcuthekisa abanye basebenzisa imilomo yabo, kungekhona amanqindi. Basenokukungcungcuthekisa ngokukusongela, ukukuthuka, ngokuphoxisa ngawe nangokukugculela.

 2. Bubuxoki. “Kwanokuncoma” ngendlela ebonisa isincwaso, ukuqhula okungandilisekanga, okanye ukujonga ngamehlo anesincwaso kunokugqalwa njengokukhathaza ngokwesini.

 3. Yinyaniso. Namantombazana asenokubangcungcuthekisa yaye abakhathaze abanye njengoko esenza namakhwenkwe.

 4. Bubuxoki. Ikho into onokuyenza xa uxhatshazwa. Makhe sibone ukuba ungenza njani.

 Indlela Onokumoyisa Ngayo Umntu Okungcungcuthekisayo—Ungakhange Ulwe

Abanye bafuna ukukucaphukisa ukuze babone indlela oza kusabela ngayo. Kodwa iBhayibhile inikela eli cebiso lobulumko: “Musa ukukhawuleza ukucaphuka ngomoya wakho.” (INtshumayeli 7:9) Enyanisweni, “ukubuyisela ububi ngobubi” kufana nokubasela umlilo yaye kusenokubangela iingxaki ezingakumbi. (Roma 12:17) Ngoko unokumoyisa njani lo mntu ukungcungcuthekisayo ngaphandle kokumbetha?

Musa ukumhoya. Ukuba ukugculela kuba ehlekisa nje ngawe, nawe hleka kunokuba ucaphuke. Inkwenkwe egama linguEliu ithi: “Maxa wambi unokusuka nje ungamhoyi loo mntu ukungcungcuthekisayo.” Ukuba uyabona ukuba akumhoyanga, usenokukuyeka.

Yiba nobulali. IBhayibhile ithi: “Impendulo, xa inobulali, isusa umsindo.” (IMizekeliso 15:1) Umntu okungcungcuthekisayo akayilindelanga into yokuba ungamphendula kakuhle, ngoko unokumenza aphelelwe ngamandla. Yinyaniso into yokuba, kunzima ukuzola xa uhlaselwa. Kodwa kuluncedo gqitha. IMizekeliso 29:11 ithi: “Isiyatha sikhupha wonke umoya waso, kodwa isilumko siwugcina uzolile kude kuse ekupheleni.” Ubulali luphawu lokomelela. Umntu onobulali akaphakuzeli, kanti yena umxhaphazi  udla ngokuphakuzela, angazithembi, yaye akazinzi. Ngoko itsho inyanisile iBhayibhile ukuthi: “Ozeka kade umsindo ulunge ngakumbi kunendoda enamandla.”—IMizekeliso 16:32.

Zikhusele. Xa izinto zingaphezu kwamandla akho, kusenokufuneka ufune indlela ‘yokuphepha.’ IMizekeliso 17:14 ithi: “Ngaphambi kokuba kuvele ingxabano, rhoxa.” Ngoko xa kubonakala ngathi kuza kubakho ugonyamelo, hamba okanye ubaleke. Xa ungakwazi ukuyiphepha loo meko, zama nayiphi na indlela onokuyisebenzisa ukuze uzikhusele.

Xelela omnye umntu. Abazali bakho banelungelo lokwazi ngoko kwenzekayo. Banokukunika amacebiso aluncedo. Ngokomzekelo, basenokucebisa ukuba uxelele utitshala. Qiniseka ukuba abazali nootitshala banokuwusingatha ngobuchule lo mbandela, ngaphandle kokukufaka engxakini.

Kuthetha ukuthini konke oku? Kuthetha ukuba umntu akanakukungcungcuthekisa xa ungamvumeli. Ngoko musa ukumvumela ukuba akuphakuzelise. Kunoko, sebenzisa la macebiso angasentla.

Ukujamelana Nokukhathazwa Ngokwesini

Xa ukhathazwa ngokwesini, kulindelekile ukuba ube nomsindo! Umbuzo kukuba, yintoni  onokuyenza? Zininzi izinto onokuzenza! Nanga amacebiso ambalwa.

Bhebhetha kangangoko unako xa ukhathazwa ngokwesini. Xa ungambhebhethi, loo mntu ukukhathazayo usenokucinga ukuba uyavuma—okanye akwali ngokupheleleyo—ngoko umele ukhabe ngawo omane. Uhayi wakho makabe nguhayi. (Mateyu 5:37) Ukuba uyagigitheka okanye uyancumancumeza, enoba wenziwa ziintloni, loo mntu usenokucinga ukuba uyavuma. Yiba ngqongqo yaye ungqale. Yeyona ndlela ibhetele onokuzikhusela ngayo leyo!

Mphoxe esidlangalaleni. UAnita oselula uthi ngalowo wayemkhathaza: “Kwanyanzeleka ukuba ndimphoxe phambi kwabahlobo bakhe ngokuthi ndimxelele ngokuvakalayo ukuba AYEKE ukundibamba ngolo hlobo!” Waba yintoni  umphumo? “Abahlobo bakhe bamhleka bonke. Waqala wandiqumbela, kodwa kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva, wacela uxolo yaye ukususela ngoko wayendikhusela xa kukho umntu ondikhathazayo.”

Ukuba loo mntu akeva, hamba. Eyona nto ibhetele nangakumbi, kukubaleka. Yaye ukuba akunakukwazi ukubaleka, unelungelo lokumtyhala lowo ukuhlaselayo. (Duteronomi 22:25-27) Enye intombazana engumKristu ithi: “Xa enye inkwenkwe yazama ukundibamba, ndayibetha ngenqindi kakhulu kangangoko ndinako, ndaza ndabaleka!”

Xelela omnye umntu. UAdrienne oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala uthi: “Yiloo nto ekwafuneka ndiyenzile ekugqibeleni. Xa ndandikhathazwa yenye inkwenkwe endandiyithatha njengomhlobo, ndacela icebiso labazali bam. Xa ndiyinqanda, yayindikhathaza nangakumbi, kwakungathi siyadlala.” Abazali  baka-Adrienne bamnika icebiso elamncedayo ukuba ajamelane naloo ngxaki. Ngokungathandabuzekiyo nabakho abazali banokukunceda.

Akukho mnandi ukungcungcuthekiswa okanye ukukhathazwa ngokwesini. Kodwa khumbula: Akuyomfuneko ukuba ulutsha olungamaKristu lungcungcuthekiswe; yaye alumele lukunyamezele ukuhlaselwa okanye lunikezele. Ukuba usebenzisa la macebiso achazwe apha, ungakwazi ukujamelana nolu celomngeni.

FUNDA OKUNGAKUMBI NGALO MBANDELA KUMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 18

KWISAHLUKO ESILANDELAYO

Ingcinezelo yoontanga lolunye ucelomngeni olunamandla omele ujamelane nalo. Funda indlela onokujamelana ngayo nalo ngenkalipho.

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Ukuba kunokwenzeka, zamani ngokusemandleni enu, ukuba noxolo nabantu bonke.”—Roma 12:18.

ICEBISO

Ukuba uyangcungcuthekiswa, yiba ngqongqo, kodwa ungalwi. Mxelele ngokungqalileyo lowo ukungcungcuthekisayo ukuba akuyeke. Mka kuloo ndawo. Xa engakuyeki, mxele.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Ukuba unxiba impahla okanye imibala efana neyeqela lemiguvela, usenokuhlaselwa. Omnye owayekade ekwiqela lemiguvela uthi: “Xa umntu enxibe ngokufana nomnye wethu kodwa engekho kwiqela lethu, wayehlaselwa. Kwakufuneka angene kwiqela lethu, kungenjalo wayesiba sesichengeni sokwenzakaliswa.”

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ukuba kukho umntu ondigculelayo okanye ozama ukundicaphukisa, ndiza ․․․․․

Ukuze ndiphephe ukuzifak’ engxakini, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Ungasilondoloza njani isidima sakho ukuze ungangcungcuthekiswa?

● Yintoni onokuyenza xa ukhathazwa ngokwesini? (Cinga ngeendlela osenokuhlaselwa ngazo nento onokuyenza xa uhlaselwa.)

● Kutheni ungafanele ukuthabathe lula ukukhathazwa ngokwesini?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 123]

“Xa usazi ukuba kuza kuliwa, musa ukubandakanyeka, kunoko goduka. Abanye baye bahlale, babukele yaye loo nto iye ibafake enkathazweni.”—UJairo

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 125]

Indlela Onokukuphepha Ngayo Ukukhathazwa Ngokwesini

Musa ukudlala ngothando. Xa udlala ngothando uzibizela ukuhlaselwa. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ngaba umntu unokuwufumba na umlilo esifubeni sakhe zize izambatho zakhe zingatshi?” (IMizekeliso 6:27) Inyaniso kukuba, ukudlala ngothando, kukudlala ngomlilo.

Bakhethe abantu onxulumana nabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu baye bagqibe ekubeni imilinganiselo yakho yokuziphatha ifana naleyo yabahlobo bakho. Intombazana eselula egama linguCarla ithi, “Ukuba unxulumana nabantu abangababhebhethiyo abo babakhathazayo, nawe uya kukhathazwa.”—1 Korinte 15:33.

Yilumkele indlela onxiba ngayo. Impahla engandilisekanga ibonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba ufuna ingqalelo yabesini esahlukileyo—yaye uya kuyifumana.—Galati 6:7.

Musa ukuzifihla ukuba ungumKristu. Ukuba uyazifihla, abantu abayi kulindela ukuba uziphathe njengomKristu.—Mateyu 5:15, 16.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 124]

Ukuba nomsindo xa ungcungcuthekiswa kufana nokubasela umlilo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 127]

Mbhebhethe ngokupheleleyo lowo ukukhathazayo!