Ezi zimbo ziquka nantoni na eyenziwa kuwe ube ungayfuni ngokukodwa xa loo inento yokwenza nokulalana​—okuquka ukuphathaphatha okanye ukuthetha ngezinto ezinento yokwenza nesini. Kodwa ngamany’ amaxesha kunzima ukwahlula enoba umntu wenza izimbo zokufuna ukulala nawe okanye uyakugezela okanye uyakuncoma.

Ngaba uyawazi umahluko? Uza kuzifumana apha iimpendulo!

Okubuhlungu kukuba, le nto ayipheli xa usahamba isikolo kuphela kodwa iyaqhubeka nasemva koko. Noko ke, ukuba wakha ubuchule obaneleyo bokujongana nale ngxaki, uza kukwazi ukuyilwa ngokuphumelelayo nasemsebenzini, uze ukhusele nabanye kulo mkhwa!

Ukuze unqande umntu owenza izimbo zokufuna ukulala nawe kufuneka kuqala wazi ukuba ziintoni ongathandi zenziwe kuwe kwaye uyazi nento oza kuyenza xa esenza ezo zinto! Khawufunde ngezi meko zintathu nendlela onokumelana ngayo nazo.

IMEKO:

“Emsebenzini kwakukho oobhuti abadala kunam, babesoloko besithi babawela ukuphinda babe ngabafana kwakhona, yaye babesoloko bendixelela ukuba ndimhle. Omnye wabo wada wajikela emva kwam wanukis’ iinwele zam!”​—UTabitha ona-20.

UTabitha wayenokucinga ngolu hlobo: ‘Ukuba ndinokunyamezela, mhlawumbi baza kundiyeka.’

Isizathu sokuba le ndlela yokucinga isenokungasebenzi: Iingcali zithi xa abantu abahlutshwayo bengahoyanga nto, le ngxaki idla ngokuqina.

Zama oku: Uzolile, yenze icace kulowo ukuhluphayo ukuba awuzukuyinyamezela le ayenzayo. UTaryn ona-22 uthi: “Ukuba kukho umntu ondibamba kwindawo endingafuni kubanjwa kuyo, ndiye ndimxelele ukuba angaze aphinde ayenze loo nto. Oko kudla ngokubothusa abafana.” Ukuba loo mntu uyaqhubeka, unganikezeli. Xa iBhayibhile ithetha ngendlela efanelekileyo yokuziphatha ithi: ‘Sukuzoyikisela, khula engqondweni, ungahexi.’—Kolose 4:12, i-The New Testament in Contemporary Language.

Wenze ntoni xa loo mntu ukuhluphayo ekoyikisa ngokuthi uza kukonzakalisa? Xa kunjalo, sukumphendula. Hamba ngokukhawuleza apho uze ucele uncedo kumntu omdala omthembileyo.

IMEKO:

“Xa ndandifunda ugrade-6, ndabanjwa ngamantomb’ amabini epasejini. Omnye wabo wayeyilesbian, esithi ufuna ukujola nam. Nangona ndandisala baqhubeka bendihlupha. Ngenye imini bandityhalela bade eludongeni!”—UVictoria, ona-18.

UVictoria wayenokucinga oku: ‘Ukuba ndiyabaxela, baza kuthi ndiligwala, mhlawumbi akukho kwamntu oza kundikholelwa.’

Isizathu sokuba le ndlela yokucinga isenokungasebenzi: Ukuba akumxeli loo mntu ukuhluphayo, akasoze akuyeke yaye unokude aqalise ukuhlupha nabanye.—INtshumayeli 8:11.

Zama oku: Cela uncedo. Abazali kunye nootitshala bangakunceda uboyise abo loo mntu ukuhluphayo. Kodwa uza kwenza ntoni ukuba abantu oxela kubo abakuhoyi? Zama oku: Qho uhlutshwa ngabantu abanezimbo ezibonisa ukuba bafuna ukulala nawe, bhala phantsi zonke iinkcukacha. Quka umhla, ixesha indawo kunye noko aye wakuthetha. Yenza ikopi uze uyinike umzali okanye utitshala. Abant’ abaninzi bayibona ibaluleke ngakumbi into ebhaliweyo kunethethwa ngomlomo.

IMEKO:

“Ndandisoyika omnye umfana owayedlala umbhoxo. Wayemde, phantse abe ziimitha ezimbini kwaye enobunzima obuziikhilogram eziyi-135! Wayesele ezixelele ukuba uza kulala nam.’ Wayendihlupha kakhulu, phantse yonk’ imihla​—kangangonyaka. Ngenye imini xa sasishiyeke sobabini eklasini wathi xa eqalisa ukusondela ndabaleka ndaphuma ngomnyango.—UJulieta ona-18.

UJulieta wayenokucinga ngolu hlobo: ‘Banjalo kakade abafana.’

Isizathu sokuba loo ndlela yokucinga ibingazi kuba luncedo: Ukuba wonke umntu ucinga ukuba lo mfana wenza nje into eqhelekileyo, akakazukutshintsha.

Zama oku: Sukuhleka okanye uman’ uncuma xa uhlutshwa. Kunoko, bonisa loo mntu ukuba akuzukuyinyamezela le nto ayenzayo.

IBALI LOKWENYANI 1:

“Andiyithandi into yokuba krwada ebantwini. Naxa abafana beqhubeka bendihlupha, ndandiye ndibaxelele ukuba bayeke—kodwa nam ndandingaqini, kwaye ndandidla ngokuba noncumo xa ndithetha nabo. Bebecinga ukuba ndibancwasile.”—UTabitha

• Ukuba ubunguTabitha, ubuza kwenza ntoni? Yaye ngoba?

• Yintoni enokwenza umntu okuhluphayo ngokwesini acinge ukuba umncwasile?

IBALI LOKWENYANI 2:

“Yonke le nto yaqala ngeziqhulo ezithetha ngamanyala kunye nabanye abafana endifunda nabo. Ekuqaleni ndandingazihoyi izinto ababezithetha kodwa zaya ziqatsela. Emva koko baqalisa ukuhlala ecaleni kwam baze bandigone, kodwa ndandibatyhalela kude. Sekunjalo abazange bandiyeke. Ekugqibeleni omnye wabo wandinika iphetshane abhale kulo izinto ezithetha ngamanyala. Ndalinika utitshala, waza lo mfana wagxothwa esikolweni. Ndaqonda ukuba ngendandiye kutitshala kwasekuqaleni!”—USabina.

• Ucinga ukuba kutheni uSabina engazange aye kutitshala wakhe kwasekuqaleni? Ucinga ukuba wenza isigqibo esihle? Kutheni ucinga njalo, okanye kutheni ungavumelani noko?

IBALI LOKWENYANI 3:

“Umninawa wam uGreg wayesendlwini yangasese, kwaza kwafika omnye umfana kuye wathi ‘Ndiphuze.’ Nangona uGreg wayengavumi, lo mfana wayengayeki ukusondela kuye. Kwanyanzeleka ukuba uGreg amtyhale.”—USuzanne.

• Ucinga ukuba uGreg wahlutshwa ngokwesini? Kutheni usitsho okanye kutheni ungavumelani noko?

• Ucinga ukuba siyintoni isizathu sokuba abanye abafana bengaxeli xa abanye baye babenzela izimbo ezibonisa ukuba bafuna ukulala nabo?

• Ucinga ukuba uGreg wenza isigqibo esihle kule ngxaki ebekuyo? Yintoni wena obuya kuyenza?