Abantu abaninzi abaye baxhatshazwa ngokwesondo baba neentloni ngoko kwenzekileyo. Banokude bazibek’ ityala. UKaren ona-19 usibalisela ngaye, waqalisa ukuxhatshazwa ena-6 ukuya kutsho xa wayeneminyaka eyi-13. Uthi: “Eyona nto kunzima ukuyithwala kukuzibek’ ityala, ndihlala ndizibuza ukuba, ‘kwakutheni ukuze ndithule yonke le minyaka?’”

Ukuba nawe unengxaki efanayo, nantsi inkcazelo enokukunceda:

• Abantwana abadalelwanga ukwabelana ngesondo. Ababhadlanga ngokwaneleyo ukuba bazenzele izigqibo zokwabelana ngesondo. Oku kuthetha ukuba abantwana abanakubekw’ ityala ngokuxhatshazwa.

• Abantwana badla ngokubathemba abantu abadala, bangawaqapheli amaqhinga abaye bawenze, nto leyo ebabek’ esichengeni. Incwadi ethi The Right to Innocence ithi: “Abantu abaxhaphaza abantwana bafana neengcuka ezambathe izikhumba zegusha, abantwana abakhawulezi bababone.”

• Umntwana usenovuseleleka xa exhatshazwa. Ukuba oko kwenzeka kuwe ungakhathazeki, xa umzimba uchukunyiswa ngeendlela ezithile uye ukwenze oko. Akuthethi kuba uyayivuma le nto yenziwa kuwe okanye umele uzibek’ ityala.

Icebiso: Cinga ngomntwana omaziyo okule minyaka ilingana nale wawukuyo ngokuya wawuxhatshazwa. Zibuze, ‘Ngaba nyhani ndinokumbek’ ityala umntwana ukuba unokuxhatshazwa?’

UKaren wazibuza naye lo mbuzo, xa wayegcine abantwana abathathu, omnye wabo wayemalunga neminyaka emithandathu, le kanye uKaren awaxhatshazwa ekuyo. Xa sele ecinga uthi: “Ndabona indlela lo mntwana asengozini ngayo nangendlela mna endandingakwazi ngayo ukuzikhusela.”

Inyaniso: Oyena mntu omele abekek’ ityala ngulo uye waxhaphaza. IBhayibhile ithi: “Nobungendawo bongendawo buya kuba phezu kwakhe [loo mntu wenza ubungendawo].”—Hezekile 18:20.

Ukuthetha nomntu omdala omthembileyo kungakunceda kakhulu. IBhayibhile ithi: “Iqabane lokwenyaniso lithanda ngamaxesha onke, yaye lingumzalwana ozalelwe ixesha lokubandezeleka.”—IMizekeliso 17:17.

Kakade ke, unokuziva ukhuselekile xa uyifihla into eyenzekayo. Mhlawumbi ukuthula yindlela yokuzinceda ukuba ungaphindi uve buhlungu. Kodwa ke, yicinge nento yokuba, usenokungalufumani uncedo xa uthule.

Enye intombazana enguJanet, yafumanis’ ukuba ukuthetha ngokuxhatshazwa kwayo kuyenza izive ingcono. Uthi: “Ndaxhatshazwa ndisengumntwana ngumntu endimaziyo nendandimthembile ibe ndayifihla loo nto ndade ndamdala. Kodwa ndathi ndakuyithetha kwatsho kwee xibilili.”

Ngoku, uJanet uyasiqonda isizathu sokuba abanye besenokukhetha ukuyifihla into yokuba bakha baxhatshazwa ngokwesondo. Uthi: “Kunzima ukuthetha ngalo mba. Kodwa ke ngokokwazi kwam, ayinyamezeleki intlungu yento oyigcina ngaphakathi. Izinto zaba bhetele mhla ndathetha ngayo.”

Ukuxhatshazwa kungakushiya ucinga izinto ezingezizo, ngokomzekelo, usenokungazixabisi okanye ucinge ukuba eyona nto uyiphilelayo kukwanelisa iminqweno yabanye yesini. Ngoku lixesha lokutshintsha loo ndlela yokucinga uze uchache. (INtshumayeli 3:3) YIntoni enokukunceda?

Funda iBhayibhile. IBhayibhile ineengcinga zikaThixo, yaye “zinamandla okubhukuqa izinto ezinqatyisiweyo,” njengale ndlela yokucinga ingasentla. (2 Korinte 10:4, 5) Ngokomzekelo, khawufunde uze ucinge ngezi zibhalo zilandelayo: Isaya 41:10; Yeremiya 31:3; Malaki 3:16, 17; Luka 12:6, 7; 1 Yohane 3:19, 20.

Umthandazo. Xa uziva ungento yanto, uzisola okanye wothukile, “umthwalo wakho wulahlele kuYehova” ngomthandazo. (INdumiso 55:22) UYehova usoloko ekho!

Abadala bebandla. La madoda angamaKristu aqeqeshelwe ukuba afane ‘nendawo yokuzimela umoya nendawo yokuzifihla esiphangweni.’ (Isaya 32:2) Angakunceda uzibone kakuhle izinto uze uqhubeke nobomi.

Abahlobo abalungileyo. Qwalasela amadoda namabhinqa angumzekelo omhle kwindlela amaKristu amele aphile ngayo. Khawujonge indlela ababaphatha ngayo abanye. Ethubeni, uya kuzibonela ukuba ayingabo bonke abantu abaxhaphaza abo bekumel’ ukuba bayabathanda.

Enye intombazana enguTanya iyakungqina oku. Waxhatshazwa ngokwesondo ngamadoda aliqela esengumntwana. Uthi: “Ndaxhatshazwa ngawona madoda ndandiwathembile.” Kodwa ke ekuhambeni kwexesha, uTanya uye wazibonela ukuba akhona amadoda abonisa uthando lokwenene. Ukubone njani oku?

Wancedwa kukutshomana nesibini esitshatileyo esingumzekelo wendlela amaKristu afanele aphile ngayo. Uthi: “Indlela umyeni awayezenza ngayo izinto yandenza ndabona ukuba akhona amadoda abaphatha kakuhle abantu. Ngokomzekelo umyeni wayemkhusela umfazi wakhe, yaye uThixo ufuna kube njalo.” a—Efese 5:28, 29.