Abantu abathandanayo bayathanda ukuhlala kunye ngaphambi kokuba batshate. Abanye bayenza le nto kuba befuna ukujonga ukuba bayafanelana na. Ibe abanye bacinga ukuba xa behlalisana ngaphambi kokuba batshate, loo nto iza kwenza bangohlukani naxa sele betshatile. Ngaba ukuhlalisana ngaphambi komtshato kulungile?

Kweli nqaku

•  Ithini iBhayibhile?

•  Ngaba ukuhlalisana ngaphambi komtshato kuza kukunceda uwulungele?

•  Ngaba ukuhlalisana kuza kuninceda nikwazi ukonga imali?

•  Ngaba ukuhlalisana kuza kukunceda ungatshati umntu ongazukonwaba kunye naye?

•  Ikhona enye into ebhetele onokuyikhetha?

•   IBhayibhile ithi kurongo ukuba abantu ababini abangatshatanga babelane ngesondo. Ngokomzekelo ithi: “Nikuphephe ukuziphatha kakubi ngesondo.” (1 Tesalonika 4:3; 1 Korinte 6:18) Nabantu abahlalisanayo abamelanga babelane ngesondo nokuba bacinga ngokutshata. a Imigaqo yeBhayibhile inceda abantu abathandanayo bangabi nomntwana ngaphambi komtshato baze baphephe nezinto ezimbi ezinokwenzeka kuba behlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato.

•   Umtshato wenziwa nguThixo. Xa wayewenza wathi: “Indoda iza kumshiya utata nomama wayo, ithi nca emfazini wayo baze babe nyama-nye.” (Genesis 2:24) Xa indoda nebhinqa betshata, kubakho uthando kwintsapho yabo ibe aboyiki ukuba bangohlukana nanini na.

 Abanye bayavuma. Bathi le nto inokunceda abantu abathandanayo bakwazi ukuzenza kunye izinto zasendlini baze bakwazi nokubonana ukuba omnye uzenza njani izinto. Kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo ukuze umtshato uphumelele, kukuzimisela kwabantu abakuwo ukuba baza kusebenza nzima ukuze bangohlukani.

 Abantu abatshatileyo bangahlala njani kunye xa kumnandi naxa kukubi? Ukuhlalisana ngaphambi komtshato akunakubanceda ukuba baphumelele emtshatweni, kuba ngelo xesha indoda nebhinqa baye bacinge ukuba bangohlukana nanini na xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle. Endaweni yoko, eyona nto inokunceda kuxa aba bantu bobabini bezimisele ukusebenza nzima ukuze balungise iingxaki zabo baze bangohlukani.

 Eyona nto siyithethayo: Xa abantu behlalisana kuba befuna umtshato wabo uphumelele, izinto zisenokungahambi kakuhle baze bohlukane bengatshatanga.

 Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Loo nto ayityalayo umntu uza kuvuna kwayona.”—Galati 6:7.

 Abanye bayavuma. Uphando olwenziwe yiPew Research Center luthi eMerika, kubantu abayi-10, abayi-4 baqalise ukuhlalisana kuba besithi loo nto iza kubanceda bangasebenzisi imali eninzi. Kodwa emva kokuhlalisana ixesha elide abanye bathi, eyona nto ibenza bangatshati kukungabi namali yaneleyo.

 Ukuhlalisana ngaphambi komtshato kunokuzisa ezinye iingxaki ingakumbi kumabhinqa. Ngokomzekelo, xa bohlukene idla ngokuba ngamabhinqa aye akhulise abantwana.

 Eyona nto siyithethayo: Iingxaki ezibangelwa kukuhlalisana ngaphambi komtshato zinokuba ninzi kakhulu ngaphezu kwendlela enicinga ukuba niza kuncedakala ngayo.

 Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Mna, Yehova, ndinguThixo wakho, Lowo ukufundisa izinto ezikuncedayo.”—Isaya 48:17.

 Abanye bayavuma. Kodwa incwadi ethi, Fighting for Your Marriage ithi: “abantu abahlalisanayo ngaphambi kokuba batshate kunokuba nzima ukuba bohlukane.” Kutheni kunjalo? Abanye abantu abahlalisanayo basenokufumanisa ukuba into yabo ayisebenzi kuba bengafanelani. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba bethenge indlu kunye, okanye bekhulisa umntwana kunye, abaphandi baye bafumanisa ukuba baye bahlale kunye kuba nje beqhele loo nto nokwenza izinto kunye baze “bangalwenzi utshintsho olufunekayo ukuze bonwabe.” b Le ncwadi ithi xa iqhuba, “abantu abebenokwahlukana bengekatshati, xa behlalisana baye batshate nje kuba beqhele ukuhlala kunye.”

 Eyona nto siyithethayo: Endaweni yokuba ukuhlalisana kunincede nenze esona sigqibo sifanelekileyo, kunokwenza kube nzima ukuba nohlukane nokuba anisathandani.

 Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Umntu olumkileyo uyibona iseza ingozi aze ayiphephe, kodwa ongenamava uya ngqo kuyo aze achaneke.”—IMizekeliso 22:3.

 Ungakwazi ukuphepha iingxaki ezibangelwa kukuhlalisana ngaphambi komtshato uze ube nethuba lokuwenza umtshato wakho uphumelele. Njani? Ngokusebenzisa onke amacebiso eBhayibhile endlela enimele nenze ngayo emtshatweni. Kufuneka uzinike ithuba elaneleyo lokumazi umntu oza kutshata naye ngaphambi kokuba nihlale njengendoda nomfazi. Xa uza kukhetha umntu oza kutshata naye, khangela umntu okholelwa izinto ezifanayo nezakho nofuna ukuphila ngendlela efana neyakho, kuba ezo zinto zibalulekeke ngaphezu kokutsaleleka nje ngokwesondo.

 IBhayibhile inamacebiso nemigaqo enokuninceda emtshatweni wenu nikwazi ukonwaba nize nibe nomtshato ozinzileyo. c Ngokomzekelo, iBhayibhile inemigaqo enokukunceda . . .

•   ukuphephe ukungathembeki

•   ube ngumyeni okanye ngumfazi ozenza kakuhle izinto

•   ukwazi ukuzibona kwangaphambili iimpawu ezingalunganga xa nisathandana ngaphambi komtshato

 Ukuze ufunde ezinye izinto ngalo mxholo, jonga indawo ethi “Umtshato Nentsapho” ku-jw.org/xh.

 Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Sonke iSibhalo siphefumlelwe nguThixo ibe sinceda ekufundiseni.”—2 Timoti 3:16.