Abanye abantwana abalihoyi ixesha elibekiweyo lokubuyela ekhaya. Abanye bona, baqhatha abazali babo ngokuxoka okanye bazimele xa bephuma endlini kuba befuna ukuya kootshomi. Yintoni onokuyenza xa umntwana wakho ebangela ukuba ungamthembi?

•  Ngaba umntwana wam uyavukela?

•  Mhlawumbi kudala endiqhatha

•  Ngubani onetyala?

•  Ndingamnceda njani umntwana wam ukuba aphinde athembeke?

•  Bathini abanye abazali?

 Akusoloko kunjalo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ubudenge bubophelelekile entliziyweni yomntu osemtsha,” ibe amaxesha amaninzi buye bubonakale ubunyani baloo mazwi kulutsha. (IMizekeliso 22:15, umbhalo osemazantsi) Ugqirha uLaurence Steinberg uthi, “abantu abafikisayo bayathanda ukwenza izigqibo ezikhawulezayo nezibubudenge. Yilindele into yokuba baza kwenza iimpazamo.”

 Sukucinga ukuba umntwana wakho uzixelele ukuba akazokumamela. Uphando lubonisa ukuba, ulutsha luyikhathalele into ethethwa ngabazali balo nokuba lubonakala ingathi aluyikhathalelanga. Mhlawumbi naye iyamkhathaza into ayenzileyo aze akhathazwe nayinto yokuba ekuphoxile. a

•    Ngaba zizinto ezimngqongileyo? IBhayibhile ithi: “Ukuba nabahlobo abangalunganga, konakalisa imikhwa elungileyo.” (1 Korinte 15:33) Nyhani ke abahlobo banefuthe elikhulu kulutsha. Ezinye izinto ezinokuba nefuthe kulo ziiwebhsayithi zokuncokola nezinto ezithengiswayo. Enye into eyenza umntwana osemtsha enze izigqibo ezibubudenge kukuba akanamava ebomini. Sekunjalo, kufuneka bangayibaleki imiphumo yezigqibo zabo, kuba loo nto iza kubanceda naxa bebadala.

•    Ndiyibhude phi? Mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba uye waqatha kakhulu ngoku yiyo loo nto umntwana wakho engamameli. Okanye usenokucinga ukuba uye wamtefisa kakhulu lo mntwana waza wamyeka wenza unothanda. Endaweni yokucinga ukuba wena umoshe phi, cinga ngendlela onokunceda ngayo.

•   Zibambe. Umntwana wakho usenokucinga ukuba uza kucaphuka. Kutheni ungakhe umphoxe, ungacaphuki? Hlala phantsi naye, nincokole, uve kuye ukuba kutheni eyenzile le nto ayenzileyo. Ngaba ikhona le nto ebefuna ukuyazi? Ebengenanto yokwenza? Ebeziva eyedwa? Ebezifuna nyhani iitshomi? Ezi zinto azimthetheleli, kodwa zinganinceda nobabini niqonde isizathu sokuba eyenzile le nto ayenzileyo.

   Umgaqo weBhayibhile: ‘Umele ukhawuleze ukuva, ucothe ukuthetha, ucothe nokucaphuka.’—Yakobi 1:19.

•   Mncede umntwana wakho acinge ngento ayenzileyo. Mbuze imibuzo efana nethi, Ufunde ntoni kule nto? Yintoni oza kuyenza xa uphinde wakule meko? Imibuzo enje inokumnceda umntwana wakho akwazi ukucinga kakuhle ngaphambi kokuba enze isigqibo.

   Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Baluleke . . . ubangxolise, ubacenge, ubafundise ngobuchule nangomonde.”—2 Timoti 4:2.

•   Mncede aqonde ukuba into ayenzayo iza kuba nemiphumo. Xa efumana imiphumo yento ayenzileyo uza kutsho afunde. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umntwana wakho ubangela ungamthembi ngokusebenzisa ifowuni yakhe kakhulu de angayenzi imisebenzi ebalulekileyo ebekufanele uyayenza yasekhaya neyesikolo, ungathatha loo fowuni angayisebenzisi kangangexesha elithile.

   Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Loo nto ayityalayo umntu, uza kuvuna kwayona.”—Galati 6:7.

•   Mncede abone ukuba ungaphinda umthembe. Loo nto ayizokwenzeka ngemini enye. Kodwa umntwana wakho kufuneka ayazi ukuba ekuhambeni kwexesha unokuphinda umthembe. Mncede angalahl’ ithemba. Kaloku, ukuba umntwana wakho ubona ukuba awusoze uphinde umthembe, angatyhafa.

   Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Sanukubacaphukisa abantwana benu, ukuze bangatyhafi.”—Kolose 3:21.