Kusenokuba nzima emtshatweni, ngenxa yokuba abantu abatshatileyo basenokungathandi zinto zifanayo, kuba bekhule ngendlela engafaniyo, futhi nobuntu babo busenokwahluka. Nazi ezinye izinto ezinokuba yingxaki kakhulu:

•   Ixesha enimele nilichite nezihlobo

•   Indlela yokusebenzisa imali

•   Isigqibo sokuba nabantwana

 Yintoni omele uyenze xa wena nomyeni okanye inkosikazi yakho ningaboni ngasonye?

•  Into omele uyazi

•  Into onokuyenza

 Ukufanelana kwenu akuthethi kuthi niza kusoloko nicinga into enye. Nesona sibini sifanelanayo asizusoloko sibona ngasonye, nakwezona zinto zibalulekileyo.

 “Mna nabantu basekhaya besikuthanda ukudibana size sihlale kunye. Xa kuphela iveki sasidla ngokuhlala notatomkhulu nomakhulu, oomalume, oodadobawo kunye nabantwana babo. Abantu bakulomyeni wam bona babengasondelelananga kangako. Yiloo nto siye singacingi ngokufanayo xa sithetha ngexesha esimele silichithe nezihlobo.”​—Tamara.

 “Ngenxa yendlela esikhule ngayo, mna nenkosikazi besisoloko singaboni ngendlela efanayo ngokusebenzisa imali. Emva kokuba sitshatile sasisoloko sixabana ngaloo nto. Kwathatha ixesha ukuze siyilungise le nto.”​—Tyler.

 Ezinye iingxaki azinakulungiswa kukuyekelela. Niza kuthini ukuba umntu enizalana naye uyagula? Okanye omnye wenu ufuna umntwana abe omnye engamfuni? a

 “Mna nenkosikazi kudala sithetha ngokuba nabantwana. Unkosikazi yeyona nto ayicinga kakhulu le, kwaye asiboni ngendlela efanayo tu. Nam andicingi tu ukuyekelela.”​—Alex.

 Ukungacingi ngendlela efanayo akuthethi kuthi umtshato wenu uyaphela. Abanye abacebisi bemitshato bathi, ukuba wena nomntu otshate naye anivumelani yenza yonk’ into uqinisekise ukuba nguwe ophumelelayo ukuba kunyanzelekile, ungade uwuqhawule naloo mtshato. Kodwa elo “cebiso” likhuthaza ukuhoya kakhulu indlela wena oziva ngayo, ulibale ngesifungo owasenza phambi kukaThixo sokunamathela kumntu otshate naye nokuba kwenzeka ntoni.

 Zimisele ukusihlonipha isifungo sakho somtshato owasenzayo. Xa ungasilibali isifungo sakho niza kuhlala nimanyene nokuba kwenzeka ntoni kuni.

 Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Oko uThixo akubophelele ngedyokhwe ndawonye makungahlukaniswa mntu.”​—Mateyu 19:6.

 Bala iindleko. Masithi omnye wenu ufuna ukuba nomntwana abe omnye engafuni. Nazi izinto eninokucinga ngazo:

•   Uqine kangakanani umtshato?

   Niza kukwazi ukukhulisa umntwana niphinde nimelane neengxaki ezinokuvela?

•   Izinto ezilindeleke kubazali.

   Ngaphandle kokutya, impahla, nendlu, kuninzi okulindelekileyo kubazali.

•   Imali eninayo.

   Uzakwazi ukumela nabantwana nonkosikazi nezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo?

 Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Ngubani na kuni othi efuna ukwakha inqaba angahlali phantsi kuqala, abale indleko?”​—Luka 14:28.

 Hlolisisa zonke imeko. Ningakwazi ukuzilungisa ezinye izinto eningevani ngazo. Xa mhlawumbi ningavumelani ngokuba nabantwana, lo ungavumiyo usenokuzibuza:

•   ‘Xa ndisithi andibafuni abantwana, ngaba yinto yokwexeshana okanye awubafuni kwaphela’

•   ‘Ngaba uyazithandabuza ukuba ungangumzali ofanelekileyo?’

•   ‘Ngaba ndoyika ukuba umntu enditshate naye akazundihoya?’

 Kwelinye icala, lo ufuna abantwana unokuzibuza ukuba:

•   ‘Ngaba sikulungele ukuba ngabazali?’

•   ‘Sinayo imali yokukhulisa umntwana?’

 Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Ubulumko obuvela phezulu . . . bunengqiqo.”​—Yakobi 3:17.

 Khawujonge indlela elinokunceda ngayo icebiso lomntu otshate naye. Njengokuba abantu ababini bengajonga into enye kodwa bangacing’ into ifanayo. Nabantu abatshatileyo ke basenokujonga into enye kodwa bacinge into ezingafaniyo, nakumcimbi wemali ingenzeka loo nto. Xa nithetha izinto eningaboni ngasonye kuzo, qala nijonge into enifana ngayo kuloo meko.

•   Ziintoni enivumelana ngazo?

•   Ziintoni eziluncedo kwezi zingafaniyo nizicingayo?

•   Ukuze nigcine umtshato wenu womelele, kutheni ningavumelani ngento enye?

 Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Ngamnye makafune, kungekhona ingenelo yakhe, kodwa eyomnye umntu.”​—1 Korinte 10:24.