Kuyamicilana kuli kwakusosekwa mnope kuti ulombela ujendeje cenene. Acalume ni acakongwe ŵajinji ŵalombane, akusaleka kulola yindu yambone yakutenda ŵamkwawo soni kwayamicila. M’buku jakuti Emotional Infidelity, mundu jwine jwakusakamucisya ŵandu ŵakusasimana ni yakusawusya jwasasile kuti ŵalombane ŵajinji “akusawoneka kuti ŵangayikosya yindu yambone yayikusatendekwa [m’maŵasa mwawo]. Akusakangala kusalila kuti nakamucisye payindu yangayikutendekwa m’maŵasa mwawo, m’malo mwakuti nasalileje yampaka atende kuti yindu yambone yila yijendelecele. Yosopeyi yikusatendekwa ligongo lyakuti ŵalombaneŵa akusalepela kuyamicilana.”

Ana wawojo ni ŵamkwawo mpaka aŵambale catuli yakusawusya yeleyi?

Kuyamicilana mpaka kunandiye yakusawusya mu ulombela. Ŵalombane pakulingalinga kulola yindu yambone yakutenda ŵamkwawo, ulombela wawo ukusalimba. Naga akusayamicilana, akusamasya ungapikangana mwangasawusya.

Kwa acakongwe ŵapeŵasa. Buku jatujikolasile kundanda jila jatite, “Acakongwe ŵajinji ŵapeŵasa ŵangayamicila masengo gekulungwa gakusatenda aciŵamkwawo pakupatila maŵasa gawo yakusosecela.” M’mikuli jine, atamose jwamlume ni jwamkongwe aŵe pamasengo, nambope ukumu wekulungwa wakusamalila liŵasalyo ukusaŵape wa jwamlumejo.

Kwa acalume ŵapeŵasa. Acakongwe ŵajinji akusakamucisya liŵasa lyawo mwa kamula masengo, kusamalila ŵanace soni kusamalila pamlango. Nambo acalume ŵane ŵangayamicila yakusatenda aciŵamkwawo. Jwamkongwe jwine jwaŵele peŵasa kwa yaka yitatu, lina lyakwe Fiona * jwatite, “Wosope tukusalemwesya, atamose uneji pandemwisye ngangusalipikana cenene. Nambope ŵamkwangu naga ayamicile masengo gangamwile pamlango, ngusamanyilila kuti akusanonyela atamose kuti ngusalemwesya mu yindu yine. Yeleyi yikusanimbikasya soni yikusasangalasya.”

Mwakulekangana ni yeleyi, naga ŵalombane akusalepela kuyamicilana mpaka yisokanasye mkamulano wawo. Jwamkongwe jwine lina lyakwe Valerie jwatite, “Naga ŵalombane ngakuyamicilana, mpaka yiŵe yangasawusya kuti jwine atande kunonyelana ni mundu jwanganaŵa ŵamkwakwe jwakusalosya kuti akusam’yamicila.”

Akoleje lung’wanu ni yakutenda ŵamkwawo. Mkati mwa cijuma cikwisaci, atende yakomboleka pakulola ndamo syambone sya ŵamkwawo. Alolesoni yatesile pakamucisya liŵasa lyawo kuti lijendeje cenene, mwine yindu yakuti wawojo nganayiyamicilaga munyumamu. Pambesi pa cijumaco, alembe (1) ndamo syambone sya ŵamkwawo, soni (2) yindu yatesile ŵamkwawo pakulisamalila liŵasa lyawo kuti lijendeje cenene.—Lilemba lyakamucisya: Afilipi 4:8.

Ligongo cici kola lung’wanu ni yakutenda ŵamkwawo kuli kwakusosekwa? Jwamkongwe jwine lina lyakwe Erika jwatite, “Pamjinjile mu ulombela, panyuma pa yaka yakuŵalanjika, mpaka mtande kuyiwona yakutenda ŵamkwenu kuŵa yangali mate. Mkusaleka kuyiwona yindu yambone yakusatenda, mmalo mwakwe mkusalola mnope yindu yanganaŵa ayikwanisye.”

Aliwusye kuti, ‘Ana yakusatenda ŵamkwangu pakamula masengo mwamtawu ngusayiwona kuŵa yangali mate?’ Mwambone, ŵalume palinganyisye cenene yindu pamlango, ana akusalepela kwayamicila ligongo lyakuti gali masengo gawo? Naga wawojo ali jwamlume jwapeŵasa, ana akusalepela kwayamicila ŵamkwawo pamasengo gakusatenda pakulela ŵanace ligongo lyakuti gali masengo gawo? Ciŵeje cakulinga cawo kumanyilila soni kwayamicila ŵamkwawo pa yosope yakutenda pakusamalila liŵasa kuti lijendeje cenene.—Lilemba lyakamucisya: Aloma 12:10.

Ŵayamicileje ŵamkwawo kutyocela pasi pamtima. Baibulo ngajikusagamba kusala yakuti tuŵeje ŵakuyamicila, nambo jikusati ‘tutendeje yakulosya kuyamicila.’ (Akolose 3:15) M’yoyo, ndaŵi syosope atendeje yakulosya kwayamicila ŵamkwawo. Jwamlume jwine lina lyakwe James, jwatite, “Ŵamkwangu payamicile ligongo lya yindu yambone yandesile, yikusandendekasya kutenda mtawu kuti mbe jwamlume jwambone mnope, soni ngusalipeleka mnope pakusamalila liŵasa lyetu.”—Lilemba lyakamucisya: Akolose 4:6.

Acalume ni acakongwe ŵapeŵasa ŵakusayamicilana akusakamulana mnope. Jwamlume jwine lina lyakwe Michael, jwatite, “Ngukulupilila kuti maŵasa gejinji ngaŵa mkumala naga ŵalombane akusalola mnope yindu yambone yakutenda ŵamkwawo. Pasimene ni yakusawusya ngaŵa mkuwutucila yakumasya ulombelawo, ligongo lyakuti akusakumbucila yindu yambone yakusatenda ŵamkwawowo.”