Enye intsha ayisihloniphi isikhathi okumele ibuye ngaso ekhaya. Enye ikhohlisa abazali bayo, mhlawumbe ngokuqamba amanga noma ngokweqa ekhaya ukuze ibe nabangani bayo. Yini ongayenza uma ingane yakho yenza ukuba ungayethembi?

•  Ingabe ingane yami iyihlongandlebe?

•  Kuthiwani uma ingane yami ingikhohlisile?

•  Ubani okufanele asolwe?

•  Ngingayisiza kanjani ingane yami ukuba iphinde ibe umuntu onokwethenjelwa?

•  Okushiwo abazali

 Akunjalo ngempela. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ubuwula buboshelwe enhliziyweni yengane,” futhi ngokuvamile abantu abasebasha bayakuveza ukuba yiqiniso kwala mazwi. (IzAga 22:15) UDkt. Laurence Steinberg uthi: “Abantu abasebasha benza ezinye izinqumo ngokuphamazela nangobuwula. Kulindele ukuthi bazowenza amaphutha.” a

 Ungaphethi ngokuthi ingane yakho ihlose ukukudelela. Ucwaningo luveza ukuthi abasebasha banendaba ngempela nokuthi yini abazali babo abayicabangayo ngabo, ngisho noma kungase kubonakale sengathi abanandaba. Nakuba ingane yakho ingase ingakukhombisi, cishe nayo idumele—futhi kuyayicindezela ukwazi ukuthi ikuphathe kabi.

•    Ingabe yizinto ezimzungezile? IBhayibheli lithi: “Ukuzihlanganisa nababi konakalisa imikhuba emihle.” (1 Korinte 15:33) Ngempela, abangani banethonya elinamandla entsheni. Njengoba kunjalo nangezinye izinto, okuhlanganisa nezingosi zokuxhumana nezamabhizinisi. Okunye ngukuthi intsha ayinalo ulwazi oluningi ngempilo, okwenza ubone ukuthi kungani intsha ingase yenze izinqumo ezingahlakaniphile. Yiqiniso, kumele ifunde ukubhekana nemiphumela yezinqumo zayo uma ifuna ukuba abantu abadala abanokwethenjelwa.

•    Yini engiyenzile? Ungase uzibuze ukuthi bewunesandla esiqine kakhulu yini, okwenze ingane yakho yaqala ukungalaleli. Noma, ungase uzibuze ukuthi ubuyekelela kakhulu yini ngezinye izikhathi, okwenze ingane yakho yathola inkululeko eningi kakhulu. Kunokuba ugxile kulokho okungenzeka ukwenzile ekubangeleni inkinga, cabanga ngalokho ongakwenza manje ukuze kuxazululwe inkinga.

•   Lawula indlela osabela ngayo. Cishe ingane yakho ilindele ukuba ucasuke. Kungani ungasabeli ngendlela ehlukile? Ngomoya ozolile, xoxa nengane yakho ngokuthi yini ebangele inkinga. Ingabe ibinelukuluku lokufuna ukwazi? Ibibhorekile? Beyidinga abangani? Akukho phakathi kwalezi zinto okuvuna ububi ebenzile, kodwa le mibuzo ingasiza wena—nengane yakho—niqonde kangcono ukuthi yini edale inkinga.

   Okushiwo iBhayibheli: ‘Kumelwe usheshe ukulalela, wephuze ukukhuluma, ungasheshi ukuthukuthela.’—Jakobe 1:19.

•   Siza ingane yakho icabange ngokwenzekile. Yibuze imibuzo enjengokuthi, Yini oyifundile kulokhu okwenzekile? Yini ehlukile ongayenza ngokuzayo uma uzithola usesimweni esifanayo? Imibuzo enjengale ingakusiza wakhe ikhono lokucabanga lengane yakho.

   Okushiwo iBhayibheli: “Usole, ukhuze, ukhuthaze, ngaso sonke isineke nekhono lokufundisa.”—2 Thimothewu 4:2.

•   Ungasigodli isiyalo. Kuyasiza lapho isiyalo, noma imingcele oyibekela yona ihlobene nobubi ebenzile. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ingane yakho ingathembekanga yasebenzisa imoto yakho ngaphandle kwemvume, ungase ungayivumeli ukuba ishayele okwesikhathi esithile.

   Okushiwo iBhayibheli: “Noma yini umuntu ayihlwanyelayo, uyovuna yona futhi.”—Galathiya 6:7.

•   Gxila endleleni eningavuselela ngayo ukwethembana. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi lokho ngeke kwenzeke ngokushesha. Noma kunjalo, ingane yakho kufanele yazi ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukwethembana kungavuseleleka. Yenze ibone ukuthi likhona ithemba. Uma ingane yakho ibona sengathi ngeke uphinde uyethembe, ingase iyeke ukuzama.

   Okushiwo iBhayibheli: “Ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, ukuze bangadangali.”—Kolose 3:21.