1. IBhayibheli liluchaza kanjani uthando lweqiniso?

 “UTHANDO lunjengamalangabi omlilo ovuthayo, ilangabi likaJah. Amanzi agubhayo ngeke alucime uthando, nemifula ngeke ilukhukhule.” b (IsiHl. 8:6, 7) Lwaze lwachazwa kamnandi uthando lweqiniso! La mazwi aqinisekisa abashadile ngaleli qiniso: Ningaba nalo uthando olungapheli.

2. Yini engenziwa indoda nomkayo ukuze baqikelele ukuthi uthando lwabo alupholi?

² Ukuthi indoda nomkayo bazoqhubeka yini benothando olungapheli uma nje besaphila, kuxhomeke kubo. Ngokwesibonelo, umlilo ungakwazi ukuqhubeka uvuthe njalo​—kodwa lokho kungenzeka uma ukhwezelwa. Uma ungakhwezelwa, uzogcina ucishile. Ngokufanayo, uthando phakathi kwendoda nomkayo lungahlala luqinile​—kodwa uma beqinisa ubuhlobo babo. Ngezinye izikhathi, indoda nomkayo bangaba nomuzwa wokuthi uthando lwabo luyaphola, ikakhulukazi lapho benezinkinga zezimali, izinkinga zempilo noma izinselele zokukhulisa izingane. Ngakho uma ushadile, ungaligcina kanjani “ilangabi likaJah” livutha emshadweni wakho? Kulesi sihloko, sizoxoxa ngezindlela ezintathu eningagcina ngazo ubuhlobo benu buqinile futhi nijabule emshadweni wenu. c

3. Ukuba nobuhlobo obuqinile noJehova kubasiza kanjani abashadile bagcine uthando lwabo luvutha? (UmShumayeli 4:12) (Bheka nesithombe.)

³ Ukuze indoda nomkayo bagcine “ilangabi likaJah” livutha, kufanele bobabili baqinise ubuhlobo babo noJehova.  Ukwenza lokho kuwusiza kanjani umshado wabo? Lapho indoda nomkayo bebazisa ubuhlobo abanabo noBaba wabo wasezulwini, bayashesha ukusebenzisa izeluleko zakhe, okubasiza bagweme futhi banqobe izinkinga ezingase zipholise uthando lwabo. (Funda umShumayeli 4:12.) Abantu abanobuhlobo obuqinile noJehova benza konke okusemandleni ukuze bamlingise futhi bahlakulele izimfanelo zakhe ezinjengomusa, ukubekezela nokuthethelela. (Efe. 4:32–5:1) Abashadile ababonisa izimfanelo ezinjalo benza kube lula ukuba uthando lwabo lukhule. Udade okuthiwa uLena, oseshade iminyaka engaphezu kuka-25, uthi, “Kulula ukuthanda nokuhlonipha umuntu onobuhlobo obuseduze noJehova.”

4. Kungani uJehova akhetha uJosefa noMariya ukuba babe abazali bakaMesiya owayethenjisiwe?

⁴ Cabanga ngesibonelo esiseBhayibhelini. Lapho uJehova kudingeka akhethe abantu ababezoba abazali bakaMesiya owayethenjisiwe, wakhetha uJosefa noMariya kubantu abaningi ababeyinzalo kaDavide. Kungani? Bobabili babenobuhlobo obuhle noJehova futhi uJehova wayazi ukuthi babeyombeka kuqala emshadweni wabo. Nina enishadile, yini eningayifunda kuJosefa nakuMariya?

5. Amadoda ashadile angafundani kuJosefa?

⁵ UJosefa wasisebenzisa ngokushesha isiqondiso sikaJehova, lokho kwamenza waba umyeni omuhle. Wathola iziqondiso ezivela kuNkulunkulu eziphathelene nomndeni wakhe okungenani izikhathi ezintathu. Isikhathi ngasinye walalela ngokushesha, ngisho noma lokho kwakudinga enze izinguquko ezinkulu. (Math. 1:20, 24; 2:13-15, 19-21) Ngokulalela isiqondiso sikaNkulunkulu, uJosefa wavikela uMariya, wamsekela futhi wamnakekela. Cabanga nje ukuthi izenzo zikaJosefa zenza uMariya wamthanda futhi wamhlonipha kangakanani! Nina madoda ashadile, ningamlingisa uJosefa ngokufuna izeluleko ezisekelwe eBhayibhelini mayelana nokuthi ningayinakekela kanjani imindeni yenu. d Lapho usebenzisa lezi zeluleko ubonisa ukuthi uyamthanda umkakho futhi lokho kuqinisa umshado wenu, ngisho noma kudingeka wenze izinguquko ezithile. Udade waseVanuatu, oseneminyaka engaphezu kuka-20 eshadile, uthi: “Lapho umyeni wami efuna isiqondiso sikaJehova bese eyasisebenzisa, ngimhlonipha ngisho nakakhulu. Ngizizwa ngilondekile futhi ngiyazethemba izinqumo zakhe.”

6. Amakhosikazi angafundani kuMariya?

⁶ UMariya naye wayenobuhlobo bakhe noJehova; ukholo lwakhe lwalungancikile kulokho okwakwenziwa uJosefa. Wayeyazi kahle imiBhalo. Wayezinika nesikhathi sokuzindla.  (Luka 2:19, 51) Akungabazeki ukuthi ubuhlobo obuhle uMariya ayenabo noJehova bamenza waba inkosikazi enhle kakhulu. Namuhla, amakhosikazi amaningi alwela ukulingisa uMariya. Ngokwesibonelo, udade okuthiwa u-Emiko uthi: “Ngesikhathi ngingakashadi, nganginesami isimiso sokutadisha. Kodwa ngemva kokuba sengishadile, ngaqaphela ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi ngumyeni wami owayesithandazela, ehola nasekukhonzeni kwethu uJehova, ukholo lwami lwase luncike kulokho ayekwenza. Ngabona ukuthi kwakudingeka ngizithwalele owami umthwalo ngokuqondene nobuhlobo bami noJehova. Manje sengiyasihlela isikhathi sokuba ngibe ngedwa noNkulunkulu wami—ngithandaze, ngifunde iBhayibheli, ngizindle nangemicabango yakhe.” (Gal. 6:5) Makhosikazi, njengoba niqhubeka niqinisa ubuhlobo benu noJehova, abayeni benu bayoba nezizathu ezengeziwe zokunidumisa nokunithanda.​—IzAga 31:30.

7. Abantu abashadile bangafundani kuJosefa nakuMariya ngokukhonza uNkulunkulu ndawonye?

⁷ UJosefa noMariya babambisana nasekugcineni ubuhlobo babo noJehova buqinile. Babona nokuthi kubalulekile ukukhonza uJehova ndawonye njengomndeni. (Luka 2:22-24, 41; 4:16) Kwakungase kube nzima ukwenza lokho, ikakhulukazi njengoba umndeni wawanda, kodwa bakwenza. Bayisibonelo esihle ngempela kubantu abashadile namuhla! Uma unezingane, njengoJosefa noMariya, kungase kube nzima ukuya emihlanganweni noma ukuhlela isikhathi sokukhulekela komndeni. Kungase kube nzima nakakhulu ukuthola isikhathi sokutadisha noma sokuthandaza ndawonye nomuntu oshade naye. Kodwa khumbula ukuthi lapho nikhonza uJehova ndawonye nisondela nakakhulu kuye, nani niyasondelana. Ngakho, yenzani ukukhonza uJehova kuze kuqala.

8. Yini engenziwa abantu abanezinkinga emshadweni ukuze bazuze ngokugcwele ekukhulekeleni komndeni?

⁸ Kuthiwani uma kunezinkinga emshadweni wenu? Ukucabanga nje ngokuba ndawonye nenze ukukhulekela komndeni kungase kungakujabulisi kangako. Uma kunjalo, qalani ngokuxoxa ngento emfushane nenizoyijabulela, into enizovumelana nobabili ukuba nixoxe ngayo. Ukwenza lokho kungaqinisa ubuhlobo benu nesifiso sokukhonza uJehova ndawonye.

9. Kungani kumele indoda nomkayo bachithe isikhathi ndawonye?

⁹ Nina enishadile, ningakwazi nokugcina uthando lwenu luvutha ngokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye. Uma nenza kanjalo, mancane amathuba okuba niqhelelane​—uyokwazi ukuthi oshade naye ucabangani futhi uzizwa kanjani. (Gen. 2:24) Phawula lokho uLilia noRuslan abakuthola ngokushesha nje ngemva kokushada, eminyakeni engaphezu kwengu-15 edlule. ULilia uthi: “Saqaphela ukuthi sasingeke sibe naso isikhathi esiningi esisichitha ndawonye esasicabanga ukuthi sizoba naso. Isikhathi sethu sasidliwa umsebenzi wokuziphilisa, umsebenzi wasendlini, kamuva kwaba ukukhulisa izingane. Sathola ukuthi uma singasenzi isikhathi sokuba ndawonye njengabantu abashadile, singase siqhelelane.”

10. Abantu abashadile bangasisebenzisa kanjani isimiso esikweyabase-Efesu 5:15, 16?

¹⁰ Yini engenziwa abantu abashadile ukuze baqiniseke ukuthi bachitha isikhathi ndawonye? Kungase kudingeke nihlele ukuba nibe nesikhathi enisichitha ndawonye. (Funda eyabase-Efesu 5:15, 16.) Umzalwane waseNigeria okuthiwa u-Uzondu uthi: “Lapho ngihlela  izinto okufanele ngizenze, ngifaka nesikhathi engizosichitha nomkami futhi siba phambili ezintweni ezibalulekile.” (Fil. 1:10) Cabanga indlela u-Anastasia, oshade nombonisi wesigodi waseMoldova, asisebenzisa kahle ngayo isikhathi sakhe. Uthi: “Imisebenzi yami ngizama ukuyenza ngesikhathi umyeni wami esematasa ngeyakhe imisebenzi. Lokho kusenza sikwazi ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye uma sesiqedile.” Kodwa kuthiwani uma izinto okufanele nizenze zikwenza kube nzima ukuthola isikhathi enizosichitha ndawonye?

11. Yiziphi izinto o-Akhwila noPriska ababezenza ndawonye?

¹¹ Abantu abashadile bangafunda esibonelweni sika-Akhwila noPriska, ababethandwa amaKristu amaningi ekhulu lokuqala. (Roma 16:3, 4) Nakuba iBhayibheli lingakhulumi kakhulu ngomshado wabo, liyasho ukuthi babesebenza, bashumayele, basize nabanye ndawonye. (IzE. 18:2, 3, 24-26) Empeleni, noma nini lapho iBhayibheli likhuluma ngo-Akhwila noPriska, lihlale likhuluma ngabo bobabili.

12. Yini engenziwa indoda nomkayo ukuze bachithe isikhathi ndawonye? (Bheka nesithombe.)

¹² Abantu abashadile bangabalingisa kanjani o-Akhwila noPriska? Cabanga ngezinto eziningi wena noshade naye okudingeka nizenze. Ningakwazi yini ukwenza ezinye zalezo zinto ndawonye kunokuba uzenze wedwa? Ngokwesibonelo, u-Akhwila noPriska babeshumayela ndawonye. Nina nijwayele yini ukwenza izinhlelo zokushumayela ndawonye? U-Akhwila noPriska babephinde basebenze ndawonye. Wena noshade naye kungenzeka anisebenzi ndawonye, kodwa ningakwazi yini ukwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya ndawonye? (UmSh. 4:9) Lapho nisizana ekwenzeni umsebenzi othile, niyezwa ukuthi nibambisene futhi niba nethuba lokuxoxa. URobert noLinda sekuphele iminyaka engaphezu kuka-50 beshadile. URobert uthi: “Uma ngikhuluma iqiniso, asinaso isikhathi esiningi esisichitha kwezokuzijabulisa. Kodwa lapho ngigeza izitsha umkami ezisula, noma lapho ngisebenza engadini bese umkami eza azosebenza nami, ngiyajabula kakhulu. Ukwenza izinto ndawonye kusenza sisondelane. Uthando lwethu luyaqhubeka lukhula.”

13. Yini indoda nomkayo okufanele bayenze ukuze basondelane ngempela?

¹³ Nokho, khumbula ukuthi ukuba ndawonye nje kukodwa akusho ukuthi nakanjani niyosondelana. Inkosikazi yaseBrazil ithi: “Kulesi sikhathi esiphila kuso, esineziphazamiso eziningi kangaka, ngithole ukuthi singase sikhohliseke sicabange ukuthi sichitha isikhathi ndawonye ngoba nakhu nje sihlala endlini eyodwa. Engikufundile ukuthi akwanele ukumane sibe ndawonye. Kudingeka nokuthi ngimnake umuntu engishade naye.”  Phawula ukuthi uBruno nomkakhe uTays benzenjani ukuze baqiniseke ukuthi bayanakana. UBruno uthi: “Lapho sobabili singenzi lutho, siwabeka eceleni amafoni ethu bese sijabulela ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye.”

14. Yini engenziwa abantu abashadile uma bengakuthokozeli ukuba ndawonye?

¹⁴ Nokho, kuthiwani uma wena noshade naye ningakuthokozeli ukuba ndawonye? Mhlawumbe nithanda izinto ezingafani noma niyacikana nje. Ungenzenjani? Cabanga ngomlilo okukhulunywe ngawo ekuqaleni. Awuvele nje uqale uyilangabi elikhulu. Izinkuni uzifaka kancane kancane, uqale ngezincane ulandele ngezinkulu. Ngendlela efanayo, kungani ningaqali ngokuchitha isikhashana ndawonye usuku ngalunye? Qinisekani ukuthi nenza into eniyijabulela nobabili, ningenzi into engase inixabanise. (Jak. 3:18) Uma niqala ngokwenza izinto ezincane, uthando lwenu lungase luvuseleleke.

15. Kungani inhlonipho ibalulekile ukuze abashadile balugcine luvutha uthando lwabo?

¹⁵ Inhlonipho ibalulekile emshadweni. Ifana nomoya owenza umlilo uvuthe kakhulu. Uma ungekho umoya, umlilo uyashesha ukucisha. Ngendlela efanayo, uma ingekho inhlonipho emshadweni, uthando lungaphola ngokushesha. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu abashadile abalwela ukubonisana inhlonipho basuke besebenzela ukuba uthando lwabo luqhubeke luvutha. Kodwa khumbula ukuthi okubalulekile akukona ukuthi wena ucabanga ukuthi uyahlonipha, kodwa ukuthi oshade naye uzizwa ehlonishwa yini. UPenny no-Aret sebeneminyaka engaphezu kuka-25 beshadile. UPenny uthi: “Ukuhloniphana kwethu kwenza kube mnandi ekhaya. Kulula ukuveza indlela esizizwa ngayo ngoba siyazi ukuthi siyayihlonipha imibono yomunye nomunye.” Yini-ke ongayenza ukuze oshade naye ezwe ukuthi uyamhlonipha ngempela? Cabanga ngesibonelo sika-Abrahama noSara.

16. Yini amadoda ashadile angayifunda esibonelweni sika-Abrahama? (1 Petru 3:7) (Bheka nesithombe.)

¹⁶ U-Abrahama wayemhlonipha uSara. Wayeyicabangela imibono kaSara, eyihlonipha nemizwa yakhe. Ngesinye isikhathi uSara wayecindezelekile, waze waveza indlela ayezizwa ngayo ku-Abrahama, wamsola ngisho ukumsola. Ingabe u-Abrahama wamthethisa? Cha. Wayazi ukuthi uSara wayeyinkosikazi ethobekile nemsekelayo. U-Abrahama wamlalela, wazama ukuyixazulula inkinga. (Gen. 16:5, 6) Singafundani? Nina madoda ashadile, ninegunya lokwenzela imindeni yenu izinqumo. (1 Kor. 11:3) Noma kunjalo, niyobe nibonisa uthando uma nicabangela imibono yomkenu ngaphambi kokuba nenze izinqumo, ikakhulukazi uma lezo zinqumo zizobathinta. (1 Kor. 13:4, 5) Ngezinye izikhathi,  umkakho angase acindezeleke, adinge ukuveza indlela azizwa ngayo. Uyayihlonipha yini imizwa yakhe ngokuba umlalelisise? (Funda eyoku-1 Petru 3:7.) U-Angela noDmitry sebeneminyaka ecishe ibe ngu-30 beshadile. U-Angela uchaza indlela umyeni wakhe amenza azizwe ehlonishwa ngayo, uthi: “UDmitry uhlale ekulungele ukungilalela lapho ngiphatheke kabi noma lapho ngifuna ukukhuluma nje. Uyangibekezelela ngisho nalapho ngihluleka ukukhuluma ngendlela ezolile ngenxa yokuphatheka kabi.”

17. Yini amakhosikazi angayifunda esibonelweni sikaSara? (1 Petru 3:5, 6)

¹⁷ USara wayehlonipha u-Abrahama ngokusekela izinqumo zakhe. (Gen. 12:5) Ngelinye ilanga u-Abrahama wabonisa umoya wokungenisa izihambi ezivakashini ayengazilindele. Wacela uSara ukuba ayeke lokho ayekwenza bese enza izinkwa eziningi. (Gen. 18:6) USara wasukumela phezulu, wenza lokho u-Abrahama ayekucelile. Nina makhosikazi ningalingisa uSara ngokusekela izinqumo zabayeni benu. Lapho nenza kanjalo, niqinisa imishado yenu. (Funda eyoku-1 Petru 3:5, 6.) UDmitry, okukhulunywe ngaye esigabeni esidlule, uchaza indlela umkakhe amenza ngayo azizwe ehlonishwa. Uthi: “Ngiyayithanda imizamo ka-Angela yokungisekela ngisho nalapho imibono yethu ingafani. Uma sengisenzile isinqumo bese izinto zingahambi kahle, akangigxeki.” Kulula ngempela ukuthanda umuntu okuhloniphayo!

18. Abashadile bazuza kanjani lapho besebenzela ukugcina uthando lwabo luvutha?

¹⁸ Namuhla, uSathane ufuna ukuluqeda uthando emishadweni yamaKristu. Uyazi ukuthi uma abashadile beyeka ukuthandana, bangase baqale ukuqhela kuJehova. Nokho, uthando lweqiniso alupheli! Kwangathi uthando olusemshadweni wenu lungaba njengothando oluchazwe encwadini yesiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo. Zimiseleni ukuba uJehova eze kuqala emshadweni wenu, chithani isikhathi ndawonye, nihloniphe imizwa yabantu enishade nabo futhi nicabangele nezidingo zabo. Uma nenza kanjalo, umshado wenu uyodumisa uMthombo wothando lweqiniso, uJehova, futhi uthando lwenu luyoqhubeka luvutha unomphela kuhle komlilo okhwezelwa kahle.