Ukunakekela Abagugile—Izinselele Nemivuzo

USHINETSU, isikhonzi esingumKristu, wayesijabulela kakhulu isabelo sakhe. Umkhaya wakhe wabantu abathathu wawuhlanganisa umkhwekazi wakhe. Babesebenza ngenjabulo nebandla elincane loFakazi BakaJehova, befundisa abantu iBhayibheli, kwaze kwaba yilapho ngolunye usuku ecelwa ukuba acabangele ukujikeleza nomkakhe bahambele amanye amabandla. Kwakuzodinga ukuba bashintshe indawo yokuhlala masonto onke. Wayejabulile ngalelithuba, kodwa ubani owayezonakekela uMama?

Imikhaya eminingi ekugcineni iyobhekana nenselele efanayo—yokuthola indlela engcono kakhulu yokunakekela abazali abagugayo. Ngokuvamile akucatshangwa kakhulu ngalendaba lapho abazali besenempilo enhle futhi besebenza. Nokho, izinto ezincane zingase zibonise ukuthi sebeyaguga, njengokuqhaqhazela kwezandla lapho bezama ukufaka ukotini enalithini noma ukukhohlwa lapho bezama ukukhumbula ukuthi bagcine nini ukubona into ethile elahlekile. Nokho, ngokuvamile, yingozi engalindelekile noma ukugula okwenza ukuba othile aqaphele izidingo zabo. Kumelwe kwenziwe okuthile.

Kwamanye amazwe abazali abajabulela isilinganiso esithile sempilo enhle bakhetha ukuchitha iminyaka yabo yobudala nabangane babo bomshado kuphela kunokuyichitha nabantwana babo. Kwamanye amazwe, njengasemazweni amaningi aseMpumalanga naseAfrika, kuyisiko ngasebegugile ukuba bahlale nabantwana babo, ikakhulukazi inkosana. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi lapho omunye wabazali esehlala elele. Ngokwesibonelo, eJapane phakathi kwalabo abaneminyaka engu-65 nangaphezulu ubudala futhi abahlala belele ngokwezinga elithile, abangaba ngu-240 000 banakekelwa ekhaya imikhaya yabo.

Izibopho Zokwenza Okuhle NezingokomBhalo

Nakuba abaningi esizukulwaneni esiphila kuso beye baba ‘abazithandayo, abangenaluthando,’ ngokucacile sinezibopho zokwenza okuhle nezingokomBhalo kwabagugile. (2 Thimothewu 3:1-5) UTomiko, onakekela umama wakhe osegugile, ophethwe yisifo se-Parkinson, wazwakalisa umuzwa ayenawo wesibopho sokwenza okuhle lapho ethi ngonina: “Uye wanginakekela iminyaka engu-20. Manje ngifuna ukwenza okufanayo kuye.” INkosi ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yeluleka: “Lalela uyihlo owakuzalayo, ungamdeleli unyoko lapho esemdala.”—IzAga 23:22.

Ubandlululo olungokwenkolo noma ubutha bomzali ongakholwa abusichithi lesiqondiso esingokomBhalo. Umphostoli ongumKristu uPawulu waphefumlelwa ukuba abhale: “Kepha-ke uma umuntu engabondli abakubo, kakhulu abakwakhe, ukulahlile ukukholwa, mubi kunongakholwayo.” (1 Thimothewu 5:8) UJesu wasibekela isibonelo esihle lapho, njengesinye sezenzo zakhe zokugcina ngaphambi kokuba afe, ehlela ukuba unina anakekelwe.—Johane 19:26, 27.

Ukubhekana Nobunzima Okuhlangatshezwana Nabo

Kudingeka ukuba bonke benze izinguquko eziningi ngemva kokuba imikhaya ebihlala ngokwehlukana iminyaka eminingi isiphinde yahlangana. Lezinguquko zidinga uthando olukhulu kakhulu, ukubekezela, nokuzwana. Uma inkosana, noma enye indodana noma indodakazi, iletha umkhaya wayo ekhaya labazali, kuvela izimo ezintsha. Kungase kube umsebenzi omusha wokuziphilisa, izikole ezintsha kubantwana, nomakhelwane abasha okufanele kujwayelwane  nabo. Ngokuvamile kuyosho imisebenzi eyengeziwe ngomfazi.

Kuyoba nzima ngendlela efanayo ngabazali ukuzivumelanisa nezimo. Kungenzeka sebeye bajwayela ukuba nesikhathi esithile bebodwa, ukuthula, nenkululeko; manje sebezobangelwa umsindo abazukulu abangomaqinase nabangane babo. Bese bejwayele ukuzenzela izinqumo zabo siqu futhi bangase bacasukele noma yimiphi imizamo yokubaqondisa. Abazali abaningi, bebona kusengaphambili isikhathi lapho imikhaya yamadodana abo iyoza izohlala nabo, baye bakha izindlu ezihlukene eduzane noma banezela amakhaya abo ngamaphasishi axhumayo, benikeza bonke isilinganiso esithile senkululeko.

Lapho ikhaya lilincane, kungase kudingeke izinguquko ezinkulu ukuze abasanda kufika bathole indawo. Omunye umama wahleka lapho ekhumbula indlela amadodakazi akhe amane ayedumele ngayo lapho ebona ifenisha eyengeziwe nezinye izinto zilokhu zifika emakamelweni awo okulala ukuze kwenzelwe ugogo wawo oneminyaka engu-80 ubudala indawo. Nokho, eziningi zalezinkinga ziyaxazululeka njengoba bonke beqaphela isidingo sokuzivumelanisa nezimo futhi bekhumbula iseluleko seBhayibheli sokuthi uthando “aluzifuneli okwalo.”—1 Korinte 13:5.

Ukulahleka Kwenkululeko

Kungase kuphakame inkinga engathi sína ngowesifazane ongumKristu uma umyeni wakhe engahlanganyeli naye okholweni lwakhe futhi enquma ukuyohlala nabazali bakhe. Izidingo zokunakekela umkhaya zingase zikwenze kucishe kungenzeki ngaye ukuba alinganise izibopho zakhe zobuKristu neminye imisebenzi yakhe. USetsuko wathi: “Umyeni wami wayenomuzwa wokuthi kwakuyingozi ukushiya unina owayengagugile kakhulu eyedwa ekhaya, futhi wayefuna ukuba ngibe sekhaya ngazo zonke izikhathi. Uma ngangizame ukuya emhlanganweni, wayecasuka futhi akhononde. Ekuqaleni, ngenxa yesizinda sami saseJapane, nami ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi kwakungalungile ukumshiya yedwa. Kodwa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngaqaphela ukuthi izinkinga zazingase zilungiswe.”

UHisako wayenenkinga efanayo. “Lapho sithuthela ekhaya labazali bomyeni wami,” uyabika, “ngenxa yokwesaba okwakungase kucatshangwe izihlobo, wafuna ukuba ngishintshe inkolo yami futhi ngiyeke imisebenzi yami engokwenkolo. Okwenza izinto zaba zimbi kakhulu, ngamaSonto izihlobo ezihlala eduze zaziza zizovakasha, zikwenze kube nzima ngami ukuya emihlanganweni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abantwana babefuna ukudlala nabazala babo kunokuya emihlanganweni. Ngangibona ukuthi ingokomoya lethu liyalimala. Kwadingeka ukuba ngithathe ukuma okuqinile futhi ngichazele umyeni wami ukuthi inkolo yami yayingekhona  okuthile kokushintshwa njengesudi kodwa yayibalulekile kimi. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umkhaya wenza izinguquko.”

Abanye baye baxazulula inkinga yokuthola isikhathi esengeziwe esikhululekile ngokuba babe nombheki wekhaya obamba itoho oza usuku olulodwa noma ezimbili ngesonto azosiza. Abanye baye bathola isilinganiso esithile senkululeko yokuziyela ezindaweni ezithile neyomsebenzi wobuKristu ngokufuna usizo lwabantwana babo, izihlobo eziseduzane, ngisho nabangane ebandleni. Amadoda nawo aye akwazi ukusiza ngezikhathi zantambama nangezimpela-sonto asuke esemakhaya ngazo.—UmShumayeli 4:9.

Ukubagcina Bematasa

Ukugcina asebegugile bematasa kungenye inselele okufanele kubhekanwe nayo. Abanye asebegugile bayakujabulela ukuhlanganyela ekuphekeni nakweminye imisebenzi ekhaya. Bazizwa bedingeka uma becelwa ukuba babheke abantwana futhi bathola ukwaneliseka ekunakekeleni insimu encane yemifino, ukutshala izimbali, noma ukuhlanganyela ekuzilibaziseni okuthile.

Nokho, abanye bafuna ukulala ingxenye enkulu yosuku futhi balindele ukunikezwa yonke into. Kodwa ukubagcina bematasa ngangokunokwenzeka kubonakala kubalulekile enhlala-kahleni yabo, ubude besikhathi sokuphila, nokuphaphama kwengqondo. UHideko uye wathola ukuthi nakuba unina wayehamba ngesihlalo sabakhubazekile, ukumyisa emihlanganweni kwakumane nje kuwukuvuselelwa unina ayekudinga. Bonke babemamukela ngokufudumele futhi wayehlanganiswa ezingxoxweni. Ekugcineni ukunakwa ayekunikezwa kwamholela ekubeni avume ukutadisha iBhayibheli nomunye owesifazane osekhulile. Umbhangqwana, onomzali ophethwe yisifo se-Alzheimer, waya naye emihlanganweni yobuKristu. Uyaphawula: “Ngokuvamile akafuni ukwenza lutho, kodwa uyajabula emihlanganweni. Wamukelwa ngokufudumele, ngakho uza ngokuzithandela. Sinomuzwa wokuthi kuyinzuzo enkulu kuye.”

UShinetsu, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni kwalesihloko, waxazulula inkinga yakhe ngokutholela umkhwekazi wakhe ikamelo endaweni eyayisenkabeni yendawo ayekhonza kuyo njengesikhonzi esijikelezayo. Ngaleyondlela yena nomkakhe babekwazi ukuhlala naye phakathi nokuhambela kwakhe emabandleni ahlukahlukene isonto ngalinye. Umkakhe, uKyoko, wathi: “Umama unomuzwa wokuthi uyingxenye ebalulekile yomsebenzi wethu futhi uzizwa edingeka. Uyajabula lapho umyeni wami emcela ukuba apheke ukudla okukhethekile.”

Ukubhekana Nokuguga

Njengoba abazali bekhula, amazinga ahlukahlukene okuguga angase avele, ngakho badinga ukunakekelwa okwengeziwe. Bakhohlwa izinsuku, izikhathi, izinkathi, nezithembiso. Bangase bahluleke ukuzigunda izinwele nokuhlanza izingubo zabo. Bangase bakhohlwe ngisho nendlela yokuzembathisa nokuzigeza. Abaningi bayakhungatheka, kuyilapho abanye beba nobunzima bokulala ebusuku. Kuba nokuthambekela kokuphindaphinda amagama futhi bayacasuka uma lokhu kulethwa ekunakekeleni kwabo. Ingqondo iyabakhohlisa. Bangase baphikelele ngokuthi kukhona abakwebelwe noma abaphangi bazama ukugqekeza indlu. Omunye umkhaya onamadodakazi amane kwakumelwe njalo ubekezelele ukubekwa amacala angenasisekelo okuziphatha kabi ngokobulili. “Sasingenakukuphika,” besho, “kodwa samane safunda ukubekezelela lamacala futhi sizame ukushintsha indaba. Ukuphikisana noGogo kwakungasizi.”—IzAga 17:27.

Izidingo Ezingokomzwelo Kufanele Zigcwaliswe

Ukuguga kuletha uvivinyo kwasebekhulile. Kuba nokugula okunzima, ukuphelelwa amandla okuzihambela, nokucindezeleka kwengqondo okufanele kubekezelelwe. Abaningi banomuzwa wokuthi ukuphila kwabo akunasiqondiso noma injongo. Bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi bawumthwalo futhi bazwakalise isifiso sokufa. Badinga ukuzizwa bethandwa, behlonishwa, futhi behilelwa. (Levitikusi 19:32) UHisako wathi: “Ngaso sonke isikhathi sizama ukuhilela uMama engxoxweni yethu uma ekhona,  sikhulume ngaye lapho kunokwenzeka.” Omunye umkhaya wawuzama ukuqinisa ukuzihlonipha kukamkhulu wawo ngokumcela ukuba aqhube ingxoxo yeBhayibheli yetekisi losuku.

Njalo umuntu kufanele alwele ukulondoloza umbono oqondile ngasebekhulile. Iziguli ezihlala zilele ziyacasuka lapho ziba nomuzwa wokuthi kukhulunywa nazo ngendlela yokweyisa noma aziphathwa ngenhlonipho. “Umama wayeqaphile,” kuchaza uKimiko, owayehlala noninazala okhubazekile, “futhi wayebona lapho ngingenasithakazelo sokumnakekela noma lapho ngimeya.” UHideko naye kwakufanele alungise isimo sakhe sengqondo. “Ekuqaleni ngangikhungathekile lapho kwakumelwe nginakekele umamezala wami. Ngangikade ngiyiphayona [isikhonzi sesikhathi esigcwele soFakazi BakaJehova], futhi ngangiyikhumbula lenkonzo. Khona-ke ngabona ukuthi ngangidinga ukulungisa ukucabanga kwami. Nakuba inkonzo yendlu ngendlu ibalulekile, lokhu nakho kwakuyingxenye ebalulekile yokulalela imiyalo kaNkulunkulu. (1 Thimothewu 5:8) Ngaqaphela ukuthi ngangidinga ukwakha uthando olwengeziwe nozwela ukuze ngijabule. Unembeza wami wawuyongihlupha uma ngangenza izinto ngendlela yokugcina icala ngingenalo uthando lokuzenza. Lapho ngithola ingozi futhi ngisezinhlungwini, ngacabanga ngomamezala wami nezinhlungu ayezizwa. Ngemva kwalokho kwaba lula ngami ukubonisa uthando olwengeziwe nozwela.”

Abanakekeli Nabo Badinga Ukunakekelwa

Akumelwe singanakwa isidingo sokubonisa ukwazisa kulowo umthwalo wokunakekela osegugile owela phezu kwakhe ngokuyinhloko. (Qhathanisa nezAga 31:28.) Abesifazane abaningi bayaqhubeka benakekela izibopho zabo kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bayawezwa noma abawezwa amazwi okwazisa. Nokho, lapho sicabangela okuhilelekile emsebenzini wabo, amazwi anjalo ngokuqinisekile afanelekile. Ngokunokwenzeka bayoba nomsebenzi owengeziwe wokuhlanza, ukugeza, nokupheka okuyodingeka bawenze. Cabanga futhi, uhambo lokuya esibhedlela noma kudokotela, kanye nokudlisa noma ukugeza isiguli esesikhulile. Omunye wesifazane, owanakekela umamezala wakhe isikhathi eside, wathi: “Ngiyazi ukuthi kunzima ngomyeni wami ukukusho ngomlomo, kodwa uyangibonisa ngezinye izindlela ukuthi uyakwazisa engikwenzayo.” Amazwi alula okubonga angakwenza konke kubonakale kufanelekile.—IzAga 25:11.

Imivuzo Nayo Ikhona

Imikhaya eminingi eye yanakekela abazali abagugayo iminyaka eminingi ithi lokhu kuye kwayisiza ukuba ihlakulele izimfanelo zobuKristu ezibalulekile: ukubekezela, ukuzidela, uthando olungenabugovu, inkuthalo, ukuthobeka, nothando. Imikhaya eminingi iye yasondelana ngokomzwelo. Umvuzo owengeziwe uyithuba lokuxoxa ngokwengeziwe nabazali futhi ubazi kangcono. UHisako wathi ngoninazala: “Ubenokuphila okuthakazelisayo. Uye wahlangabezana nobunzima obuningi. Ngiye ngafinyelela ekumazini kangcono futhi ngiye ngafunda ukwazisa izimfanelo anazo engangingaziqapheli ngaphambili.”

“Kwake kwaba nesikhathi ngaphambi kokutadisha iBhayibheli lapho ngake ngafuna isehlukaniso ukuze ngibalekele lesimo,” kuchaza uKimiko owayenakekela abazali bomyeni wakhe nogogo wakhe owayehlala elele. “Khona-ke ngafunda ukuthi kufanele ‘sinakekela . . . abafelokazi osizini lwabo.’ (Jakobe 1:27, NW) Ngiyajabula ngokuthi ngiye ngenza okusemandleni ami, njengoba manje kungekho noyedwa emkhayeni ongakhononda ngokufanelekile ngezinkolelo zami. Unembeza wami umsulwa.” Omunye wathi: “Ngiye ngazibonela ngawami siqu imiphumela edabukisayo yesono sika-Adamu futhi manje ngisazisa ngisho nangokwengeziwe isidingo sesihlengo.”

Ingabe ngokushesha uzobe wamukela elinye ilungu lomkhaya wakho ekhaya lakho? Noma ingabe mhlawumbe sewuyohlala nabazali bakho abagugile? Ingabe uzizwa unokwesaba? Lokho kuyaqondakala. Kuyoba nezinguquko okuyodingeka uzenze. Kodwa uyozithola uvuzwa ngokucebile ekuhlangabezaneni nalenselele ngokuphumelelayo.

[Isithombe ekhasini 24]

Abagugile badinga ukuzizwa bethandwa futhi behlonishwa