Isibopho Somshado Esintengantengayo

UMAMA osemusha wayegone ingane yakhe enezinyanga ezimbili. Khona-ke, evuka indlobane, wayiwisela phansi. Lomfanyana wafa emahoreni ambalwa kamuva. “Ngimwise ngamabomu,” kusho lomama, “ngoba umyeni wami akanandaba nomkhaya wakhe.” Kunokuba alungise lendaba nomyeni wakhe, wakhiphela intukuthelo yakhe enganeni engenacala.

Bambalwa omama abangenza isenzo esinjalo esiwukweqisa, kodwa abaningi banemizwa efana neyakhe. Kuya kuba nzima ngokwengeziwe ukuba imibhangqwana eshadile yenze imishado yayo ibe yimpumelelo. “Lapho amathuba okuphumelela komshado emancane njengoba enjalo e-United States namuhla,” kusho i-Journal of Marriage and the Family, “ukwenza isibopho esiqinile, esingenamngcele emshadweni . . . kuyingozi kakhulu kangangokuba akekho umuntu onengqondo ngokuphelele ongasenza.”

Kulezikhathi zeziyaluyalu, ukuziphatha okubi, ukungezwani, izikweletu, ukuxabana nabasemzini, nobugovu konke kubangela ingxabano yasekhaya, ngokuvamile ekhula ize ifinyelele esehlukanisweni. EJapane isimo sibi kangangokuba ngisho neSonto lamaKatolika, elidume ngokuma kwalo okuqinile ngokumelene nesehlukaniso, kuye kwadingeka limise ikomiti ekhethekile ezonciphisa ukubandlulula kwamaKatolika amalungu ahlukanisile ayesephinda eyashada. Inani elandayo labantu abasontayo lithintwa izinkinga ezihlobene nesehlukaniso.

Nokho, inani lezehlukaniso lembula ingxenye encane nje kuphela yenkinga. Ukuhlola okwenziwa e-United States kubonisa ukuthi ukuwohloka kwezinga lokuphila kwasemshadweni ngokwakho yikhona okubangela ukwanda kwezehlukaniso, kunokuba kube nje ukuthambekela komphakathi okwenza ukuhlukanisa kube lula. Njengoba kunomzamo omncane nokuzibopha okuncane, ukuphila kwasemshadweni kuphelelwa ubuhle bakho. Abaningi ngaphandle babonakala bewumbhanqwana oshadile, kodwa abanikani izimfanelo zasemshadweni, futhi abalokothi bakhulumisane. Abanye banomuzwa ofana nowowesifazane waseMpumalanga owazithengela ithuna lakhe siqu elihlukile ethi, ‘Angifuni ukuba nomyeni wami ethuneni.’ Njengoba engenakukwazi  ukuhlukanisa nomyeni wakhe njengamanje, uhlela ukuthola isehlukaniso ngemva kokufa. Ngokudabukisayo, nakuba abantu abanjalo bengahlukanisi, ukuphila kwasemshadweni akuwona umthombo wenjabulo kubo.

Kwakunjalo ngo-Isao. Wayeshade nomkakhe ngenxa yokuthatheka, ngakho yayingekho into eyayimshukumisela ukuba ashintshe indlela yakhe yokuphila yokuzazisa. Nakuba ayehola imali ekahle njengomshayeli wamaloli, wayesaphaza yonke imali yakhe ekudleni nasekuphuzeni, engawunakekeli umkhaya wakhe. Ngenxa yalokhu, izingxabano nomkakhe zazingapheli. “Noma nini lapho izinto zingihambela kabi,” kukhumbula u-Isao, “ngangiya ekhaya futhi ngikhiphele intukuthelo yami emkhayeni wami.” Njengentaba-mlilo eyayilokhu iqhume njalo, indaba yesehlukaniso yayiqubuka nsuku zonke.

Amadoda nabesifazane abaningi bakhuthazelela ukuba nemishado ewohlokayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bayahlukanisa noma abahlukanisi, abayitholi injabulo. Ingabe ikhona indlela yokuba benze imishado yabo ibe yimpumelelo? Yini engenziwa ukuze kuqiniswe isibopho sabo somshado?