Indlela Ukuba Ngabafelokazi Okwabathinta Ngayo Abesifazane Ababili

USANDRA ungumfelokazi ohlala e-Australia. Lapho eshonelwa ngumyeni wakhe eminyakeni ethile edlule, uSandra wavele washaqeka. “Ukubona ukuthi ngokuphazima kweso ngase ngilahlekelwe umngane womshado nomngane wami omkhulu kwangiqeda amandla. Angikhumbuli nokuthi ngafika kanjani ekhaya ngisuka esibhedlela noma ukuthi ngafika ekhaya ngenzani ngalolo suku. Emasontweni ambalwa alandela, ukwesaba kwami kwaphenduka ubuhlungu bomzimba obungapheli.”

USandra unomngane osekhulile kunaye, u-Elaine, oseneminyaka engaba yisithupha engumfelokazi. U-Elaine wanakekela umyeni wakhe, uDavid, izinyanga eziyisithupha ngaphambi kokuba umdlavuza umbulale. Waba lusizi kakhulu kangangokuthi lapho umyeni wakhe esanda kushona, u-Elaine wavaleka amehlo okwesikhashana. Ngemva kweminyaka emibili washayeka phansi phakathi kwabantu. Udokotela wakhe akatholanga zimpawu zokugula emzimbeni. Nokho, wathola ukuthi u-Elaine wayekuvalele ngaphakathi ukudabuka kwakhe, ngakho wamcebisa ukuba aye ekhaya afike azame ukukhala. “Kwangithatha isikhathi impela ukuba ngikwazi ukubhekana nosizi lwami,” kuvuma u-Elaine, enezela nokuthi wayenzani lapho enesizungu, “ngangize ngiye ekamelweni lokulala ngifike ngizimboze ubuso ngezingubo zikaDavid.”

Yebo, ukushonelwa umngane womshado omthandayo kungabangela ukusabela okuhlukahlukene, ngoba ukuba ngumfelokazi kuhilela okungaphezu nje kokuphila ngaphandle komyeni. Ngokwesibonelo, uSandra kwaba nesikhathi lapho ayezizwa engeyena lo Sandra amaziyo. Njengabanye abafelokazi abaningi abasanda kushonelwa, wayezizwa engavikelekile, engaphephile. USandra uyakhumbula: “Njengoba ngase ngijwayele ukuba kube ngumyeni wami owenza izinqumo zokugcina, ngokuphazima kweso ngase ngisele ngedwa, sekudingeka kube yimi owenza lezo zinqumo. Ngangiqwasha. Ngangikhathele, ngitubekile. Ngangingazi nokuthi kufanele ngenze njani.”

Izindaba ezifana nezikaSandra no-Elaine ziphindaphindwa nsuku zonke emhlabeni wonke. Ukugula, izingozi, izimpi, ukuqothulwa kohlanga nobudlova obuvamile kungezinye zezinto ezibangela abafelokazi abandayo. * Abaningi balaba besifazane bathula nalo usizi lwabo, bengazi ukuthi benze njani. Yini abangane nezihlobo abangayenza ukuze basize labo abazama ukubhekana nokuba ngabafelokazi? Isihloko esilandelayo sinokusikisela okungase kusize.

[Umbhalo waphansi]