Isiqondiso Saphezulu Sokukhetha Umngane Womshado

“Ngizakukufundisa, ngikubonise indlela ozakuhamba ngayo; ngizakukululeka ngeso lami.”—IHUBO 32:8.

1. Yiziphi izici ezidingekayo ukuze umshado uphumelele?

ABASHAYI bezigubhu baqala ukushaya izigubhu zabo. Ngobugagu, umculi uyangena nephimbo lakhe elimtoti. Kuphuma unqambothi lomculo. Amadoda amabili ethula amabhokisi ezimpahla asindayo elolini elikhulu. Enye iphonsela enye ibhokisi, lena enye ilinqake kalula bese ilindela elinye. Zombili lezi zinto zibonakala zenziwa ngaphandle kokukhandleka. Kodwa, ubani obengake azame ukuzenza engazijwayezanga, engenaye umuntu onekhono omsizayo futhi ikakhulu engenaso isiqondiso noma iziyalezo ezifanele. Ngokufanayo, umshado omuhle ungase ubonakale sengathi uyazenzekela. Nokho, nawo uxhomeke ekubeni nomngane okahle, ekubambisaneni futhi ikakhulu ekutholeni iseluleko esihlakaniphile. Yebo, isiqondiso esifanele sisemqoka.

2. (a) Ubani owasungula ilungiselelo lomshado, ngayiphi injongo? (b) Aye enziwa kanjani amalungiselelo eminye imishado?

² Kungokwemvelo ukuba insizwa noma intombi engashadile icabange ngomngane womshado—umuntu eyobambisana naye ekuphileni. Kusukela uJehova uNkulunkulu awusungula, umshado wendoda nomfazi ulokhu uyindlela engokwemvelo yokuphila. Kodwa indoda yokuqala, u-Adamu, ayizikhethelanga umkayo. Ngothando, uJehova wayilungiselela yena. (Genesise 2:18-24) Umbhangqwana wokuqala kwakufanele wande ukuze abantu bagcine sebegcwele umhlaba wonke. Ngemva kwalokho kuhlanganiswa kokuqala, amalungiselelo omshado ngokuvamile ayenziwa abazali bakamakoti nomkhwenyana, ngezinye izikhathi bewenza ngemva kokuvuma kwalabo abahlanganiswayo. (Genesise 21:21; 24:2-4, 58; 38:6; Joshuwa 15:16, 17) Nakuba imishado ehlelwa abazali isavamile kwamanye amazwe nezizwe, abaningi namuhla bayazikhethela umngane wabo womshado.

3. Umngane womshado kufanele akhethwe kanjani?

³ Umngane womshado kufanele akhethwe kanjani? Abanye bathonywa ukubukeka—lokho abakubona kukuhle noma kukhanga emehlweni. Abanye babheka izinzuzo ezingokwezimali, umuntu ozobanakekela kahle nozokwanelisa izidingo nezifiso zabo. Kodwa ikhona yini kulezi zindlela eyoholela ebuhlotsheni obujabulisayo nobanelisayo uma isetshenziswa yodwa? IzAga 31:30 zithi: “Ubuhle [“bungase bube,” NW] yinkohliso, nokubukeka [“kungase kube,” NW] yize, kepha owesifazane owesaba uJehova uyakudunyiswa.” Kunephuzu elibalulekile lapho: Lapho ukhetha umngane womshado, faka uJehova endabeni.

Isiqondiso Sothando Esivela KuNkulunkulu

4. Yiluphi usizo uNkulunkulu alunikezayo mayelana nokukhetha umngane womshado?

⁴ UBaba wethu wasezulwini onothando, uJehova, uye walungiselela iZwi lakhe elilotshiwe ukuze lisiqondise kuzo zonke izinto. Uthi: “NginguJehova uNkulunkulu wakho [okufundisa] okukusizayo; [okuhola] ngendlela omelwe ukuhamba ngayo.” (Isaya 48:17) Ngakho, akumangazi ukuthola iziqondiso zokukhetha umngane womshado eBhayibhelini, esezinesikhathi eside ziphumelela. UJehova ufuna ukuba imishado yethu ihlale njalo futhi ijabulise. Ngakho-ke, uye wasilungiselela usizo ukuze siqonde futhi sisebenzise  lezi ziqondiso. Akukhona yini lokho ebesingakulindela kuMdali wethu onothando?—IHubo 19:8.

5. Yini ebalulekile ukuze umshado uqhubeke ujabulisa?

⁵ Lapho uJehova esungula ilungiselelo lomshado, wayehlose ukuba libe yisibopho esihlala njalo. (Marku 10:6-12; 1 Korinte 7:10, 11) Yingakho ‘ekuzonda ukuhlukanisa umshado,’ ekuvumela kuphela ngesizathu ‘sobufebe.’ (Malaki 2:13-16, NW; Mathewu 19:9) Ngakho-ke, ukukhetha umngane womshado kungesinye sezinyathelo ezibaluleke kakhulu esingazithatha futhi akumelwe kuthathwe kalula. Zimbalwa izinqumo ezingenza umuntu ajabule noma adumale njengalesi. Ukukhetha kahle kungacebisa ukuphila kwakho, kukwenze kwanelise, kanti ukukhetha kabi kungaletha usizi olungapheli. (IzAga 21:19; 26:21) Ukuze injabulo iqhubeke, kubalulekile ukukhetha ngokuhlakanipha futhi uzimisele ukuzibophezela unomphela, ngoba uNkulunkulu wasungula umshado njengobuhlobo obabuyophumeleliswa ukuvumelana nokubambisana.—Mathewu 19:6.

6. Kungani izinsizwa nezintombi kudingeka zicophelele ngokukhethekile lapho zikhetha umngane womshado, futhi zingasenza kanjani isinqumo esihlakaniphe kakhulu?

⁶ Izinsizwa nezintombi kudingeka ziqaphele ngokukhethekile ukuthi ukubukeka nezifiso ezinamandla akuthuntubezi ukwahlulela kwazo lapho zikhetha umngane womshado. Empeleni, ubuhlobo obusekelwe ezicini ezinjalo kuphela bungashintsha ngokushesha bube ukweyana ngisho nenzondo. (2 Samuweli 13:15) Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uthando oluhlala njalo singaluhlakulela njengoba siya simazi kangcono umuntu esiyoshada naye futhi siziqonde kangcono nathi. Kudingeka siqaphele nokuthi lokho okusifanele kangcono kakhulu kungase kungabi yilokho inhliziyo yethu ekufisayo ekuqaleni. (Jeremiya 17:9) Yingakho isiqondiso saphezulu esiseBhayibhelini sibaluleke kangaka. Sisisiza sibone ukuthi singazenza kanjani izinqumo ezihlakaniphe kakhulu ekuphileni. Umhubi wayekhulumela uJehova lapho ethi: “Ngizakukufundisa, ngikubonise indlela ozakuhamba ngayo; ngizakukululeka ngeso lami.” (IHubo 32:8; Heberu 4:12) Nakuba umshado unganelisa isidingo esizalwa naso sokuthandwa nokujabulela ubungane, uphinde futhi ube nezinselele ezidinga ukuvuthwa nokuqonda.

7. Kungani abanye bengasamukeli iseluleko esisekelwe eBhayibhelini mayelana nokukhetha umngane womshado, kodwa lokhu kungaholelaphi?

⁷ Kuwukuhlakanipha ukulalela lokho uMsunguli womshado akushoyo ngokukhetha umngane womshado. Nokho, lapho sithola iseluleko  esisekelwe eBhayibhelini sivela kubazali noma kubadala abangamaKristu singase singasamukeli. Singase sibe nomuzwa wokuthi abasiqondi kahle-hle, futhi izifiso ezinamandla ezingokomzwelo zingase zisenze sifune ukulandela ukuthambekela kwenhliziyo yethu. Nokho, lapho kusa kithi, singase sizisole ngokuthi asizange sisilalele iseluleko esihlakaniphile esasinikwa ukuze sisizakale. (IzAga 23:19; 28:26) Singase sizithole sisemshadweni ongenalo uthando, sinezingane esikuthola kunzima ukuzinakekela, mhlawumbe sishade nanomuntu ongakholwa. Yeka ukuthi kungadabukisa kanjani uma ilungiselelo ebelingasilethela injabulo enkulu kuba yilona elisidalela usizi olukhulu!

Ukuzinikela Kokuhlonipha UNkulunkulu—Isici Esisemqoka

8. Ukuzinikela kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu kuwusiza kanjani umshado ukuba uhlale njalo futhi ulethe injabulo?

⁸ Kuyavunywa, ukukhangana kuyasiza ekuqiniseni umshado. Kodwa ukuba nezindinganiso ezifanayo kubaluleke nakakhulu ukuze isibopho somshado sihlale njalo futhi silethe injabulo. Ukuzinikela nobabili kuJehova uNkulunkulu kwakha isibopho esihlala njalo, kuthuthukise nobunye ngendlela okungekho lutho olungakwenza ngayo. (UmShumayeli 4:12) Lapho umbhangqwana ongamaKristu ugxilisa ukuphila kwawo ekukhulekeleni kukaJehova kweqiniso, uba nobunye ngokomoya, ngokwengqondo nangokuziphatha. Utadisha iZwi likaNkulunkulu ndawonye. Uthandaza ndawonye, futhi lokho kwenza izinhliziyo zawo zibe nobunye. Uya emihlanganweni yobuKristu ndawonye, usebenze ndawonye enkonzweni yasensimini. Konke lokhu kusiza ekwakheni isibopho esingokomoya esiwenza usondelane ngokwengeziwe. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, kuphumela esibusisweni sikaJehova.

9. U-Abrahama wenzani ngokuqondene nokutholela u-Isaka umfazi, futhi kwaba namuphi umphumela?

⁹ Ngenxa yokuzinikela kwayo kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu, inzalamizi ethembekile engu-Abrahama yafuna ukujabulisa uNkulunkulu lapho kufika isikhathi sokuba ikhethele indodana yayo u-Isaka umfazi. Ekhuluma nenceku yakhe yasendlini eyayiyisethenjwa, u-Abrahama wathi:  “Ngizakukufungisa uJehova, uNkulunkulu wezulu noNkulunkulu womhlaba, ukuthi awuyikuthathela indodana yami umfazi emadodakazini amaKhanani engihlezi phakathi kwawo, kepha uye ezweni lakithi nasezihlotsheni zami, uyithathele khona indodana yami u-Isaka umfazi. . . . [UJehova] uzakuthuma ingelosi yakhe phambi kwakho, ukuze ungitholele khona indodana yami umfazi.” URebeka waba ngumfazi okahle ngezinga elivelele, lowo u-Isaka amthanda kakhulu.—Genesise 24:3, 4, 7, 14-21, 67.

10. Yiziphi izibopho ezingokomBhalo amadoda namakhosikazi abekelwa zona?

¹⁰ Uma singamaKristu angashadile, ukuzinikela kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu kuyosisiza sihlakulele izimfanelo eziyosenza sikwazi ukuhlangabezana nezimfuneko zomshado ezingokomBhalo. Phakathi kwezibopho amadoda namakhosikazi anazo, kunalezi ezishiwo ngumphostoli uPawulu: “Abafazi mabazithobe kubayeni babo njengokungathi bazithoba eNkosini . . . Madoda, qhubekani nithanda omkenu, njengoba nje noKristu alithanda ibandla futhi wazinikela ngenxa yalo . . . Amadoda kufanele abe athanda omkawo njengemizimba yawo siqu. . . . Lowo nalowo kini makamthande kanjalo umkakhe njengoba ezithanda yena; ngakolunye uhlangothi, umfazi kufanele abe nenhlonipho ejulile ngomyeni wakhe.” (Efesu 5:22-33) Njengoba sibona, amazwi kaPawulu aphefumulelwe agcizelela isidingo sothando nenhlonipho. Ukulandela lesi seluleko kuhilela ukwesaba uJehova okunenhlonipho. Kudinga ukuzibophezela ngenhliziyo yonke ezikhathini ezinhle nezimbi. AmaKristu acabanga ukushada kufanele akwazi ukwamukela lo mthwalo wemfanelo.

Ukunquma Ukuthi Ushada Nini

11. (a) ImiBhalo inikeza siphi iseluleko esiphathelene nesikhathi sokushada? (b) Yisiphi isibonelo esibonisa ukuhlakanipha kokulandela iseluleko seBhayibheli esikweyoku-1 Korinte 7:36?

¹¹ Ukwazi ukuthi kunini lapho sikulungele khona ukushada kubalulekile. Njengoba lokhu kuhluka kumuntu ngamunye, imiBhalo ayibeki iminyaka eqondile yobudala. Nokho, ibonisa ukuthi kungcono ukulinda size ‘sidlule ekuqhumeni kobusha,’ lapho izifiso zobulili zingathuntubeza khona ukwahlulela okuhle. (1 Korinte 7:36) UMichelle uthi: “Lapho ngibona abangane bami bethandana nabathile futhi beshada, abaningi babo bengakayihlanganisi iminyaka engu-20 yobudala, kwakuba nzima ngezinye izikhathi ukusebenzisa lesi seluleko. Kodwa ngaqaphela ukuthi sivela kuJehova lesi seluleko, futhi usitshela lokho okusizuzisayo kuphela. Ngokungasheshi ngishade, ngakwazi ukugxila ebuhlotsheni bami noJehova nokuthola okuhlangenwe nakho ekuphileni, okuyinto ongeke neze waba nayo ungakayihlanganisi neminyaka engu-20. Ngemva kweminyaka ethile, ngase ngikulungele kangcono ukusingatha imithwalo yemfanelo nezinkinga eziba khona emshadweni.”

12. Kungani kuhlakaniphile ukungajahi ukushada usemncane?

¹² Labo abajaha ukushada besebencane kakhulu ngokuvamile bathola ukuthi izidingo nezifiso zabo ziyashintsha lapho bevuthwa. Babe sebeqaphela ukuthi izinto ababezibona zifiseleka ekuqaleni azisabalulekile kangako. Omunye umKristu osemusha wayezimisele ukushada nakanjani lapho eseneminyaka engu-16 ubudala. Ugogo wakhe wayeshade enaleyo minyaka, ngokufanayo nonina. Lapho insizwa ayenesithakazelo kuyo yenqaba ukumshada ngaleso sikhathi, wakhetha enye eyayizimisele ukumshada. Nokho, kamuva ekuphileni, wazisola kakhulu ngesinqumo sakhe sokuxhamazela.

13. Labo abashada kungakabi yisikhathi ngokuvamile bantulani?

¹³ Lapho ucabanga ukushada, kubalulekile ukuba nombono ovuthiwe wako konke okuhilelekile. Ukushada kungakabi yisikhathi kungabangela inqwaba yezinkinga cishe umbhangqwana osemusha ongakulungele ukuzisingatha. Kungenzeka awunakho okuhlangenwe nakho nokuvuthwa okudingekayo ukuze ubhekane nezingcindezi zomshado nokukhulisa izingane. Umshado kufanele ungenelwe kuphela lapho sesikulungele ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo nangokomoya ukuba sebuhlotsheni obuhlala njalo.

14. Yini edingekayo ukuze kusingathwe izimo ezicindezelayo emshadweni?

¹⁴ UPawulu wabhala ukuthi labo abashadayo “bayoba nosizi enyameni yabo.” (1 Korinte 7:28) Izinkinga ziyoba khona ngoba kunabantu ababili  abangafani, futhi nemibono ngeke ifane. Ngenxa yokungapheleli kobuntu, kungase kube nzima ukufeza indima yethu engokomBhalo elungiselelweni lomshado. (1 Korinte 11:3; Kolose 3:18, 19; Thithu 2:4, 5; 1 Petru 3:1, 2, 7) Ukufuna nokulandela isiqondiso esingokwaphezulu ekuxazululeni ngothando izimo ezibangela ukucindezeleka kudinga ukuvuthwa nokuqina ngokomoya.

15. Iyiphi indima abazali abangayifeza ekulungiseleleni izingane zabo umshado? Bonisa.

¹⁵ Abazali bangalungiselela izingane zabo umshado ngokuzisiza ukuba ziqonde ukubaluleka kokulandela isiqondiso saphezulu. Ngokusebenzisa imiBhalo nezincwadi zobuKristu ngobuhlakani, abazali bangasiza izingane zabo zibone ukuthi zona noma abantu ezicabanga ukushada nabo bakulungele yini ukungenela isibopho somshado. * UBlossom owayeneminyaka engu-18 ubudala wayecabanga ukuthi wayethanda insizwa ethile ebandleni lakubo. Le nsizwa yayiyisikhonzi esiyiphayona lesikhathi esigcwele, futhi befuna ukushada. Kodwa abazali bakaBlossom bamcela ukuba alinde unyaka owodwa, benomuzwa wokuthi wayesemncane kakhulu. Kamuva uBlossom wabhala: “Ngibonga kakhulu ngokuthi ngasilalela leso seluleko esihlakaniphile. Ungakapheli nonyaka, ngavuthwa kakhudlwana, ngaqala ukubona ukuthi le nsizwa yayingenazo izimfanelo ezaziyoyenza umngane okahle womshado. Yagcina iyishiyile inhlangano, ngasinda kulokho okwakuyoba yinhlekelele ekuphileni kwami. Yeka ukuthi kuhle kanjani ukuba nabazali abahlakaniphile nabanokwahlulela ongathembela kukho!”

‘Shada Kuphela ENkosini’

16. (a) AmaKristu angavivinyeka kanjani mayelana ‘nokushada kuphela eNkosini’? (b) Lapho elingeka ukuba ashade nomuntu ongakholwa, amaKristu kufanele acabange ngani?

¹⁶ Isiqondiso sikaJehova kumaKristu sicacile: ‘Shada kuphela eNkosini.’ (1 Korinte 7:39) Abazali abangamaKristu nezingane zabo bangase bavivinyeke kulokhu. Kanjani? Abasebasha bangase bafise ukushada, kodwa abantu abangase babe abangane bomshado babe yindlala ebandleni. Okungenani kubonakale kunjalo. Abesilisa abatholakalayo bangase babe mbalwa kunabesifazane endaweni, noma angase angabi khona obonakala efaneleka kuleyo ndawo. Insizwa engelona ilungu lebandla elizinikezele ingase ibonise isithakazelo kowesifazane ongumKristu (noma intombi kowesilisa), bese icindezeleka ukuba ilahle izindinganiso zikaJehova. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kungaba kuhle ukucabanga ngesibonelo sika-Abrahama. Enye yezindlela alondoloza ngazo ubuhlobo bakhe obuhle noNkulunkulu kwakuwukuqiniseka ukuthi indodana yakhe u-Isaka ishada nomkhulekeli weqiniso kaJehova. U-Isaka wenza okufanayo ngeyakhe indodana, uJakobe. Lokhu kwakudinga umzamo kuwo wonke umuntu ohilelekile, kodwa kwamjabulisa uNkulunkulu futhi kwaphumela esibusisweni sakhe.—Genesise 28:1-4.

17. Kungani ukushada nomuntu ongakholwa kungase kube yinhlekelele, futhi yisiphi isizathu esibaluleke kunazo zonke ‘sokushada kuphela eNkosini’?

¹⁷ Ezimweni ezimbalwa, ongakholwa uye wagcina ebe ngumKristu. Nokho, ngokuvamile ukushada nomuntu ongakholwa kuye kwaba yinhlekelele. Labo ababoshelwe ngokungalingani ejokeni abanazo izinkolelo, izindinganiso noma imigomo efanayo. (2 Korinte 6:14) Lokhu kungaba nethonya elilimazayo ekukhulumisaneni nasenjabulweni yomshado. Ngokwesibonelo, omunye owesifazane ongumKristu wayebalisa kakhulu ngokuthi ngemva komhlangano okhuthazayo, wayengenakukwazi ukuya ekhaya afike axoxe  ngezinto ezingokomoya nomyeni wakhe ongakholwa. Yebo, okubaluleke nakakhulu ukuthi ‘ukushada eNkosini’ kuwukwethembeka kuJehova. Lapho sivumelana neZwi likaNkulunkulu, izinhliziyo zethu azisilahli, ngoba senza lokho ‘okujabulisayo emehlweni akhe.’—1 Johane 3:21, 22.

18. Lapho umuntu ecabanga ukushada, yiziphi izinto ezibalulekile okufanele aziqaphele, futhi ngani?

¹⁸ Lapho ucabanga ukushada, izimfanelo ezinhle nengokomoya lomuntu ocabanga ukushada naye kufanele kube yizona zinto ezisemqoka. Ubuntu bobuKristu, uthando ngoNkulunkulu nokuzinikela kuye ngomphefumulo wonke, kubaluleke kakhulu kunokubukeka okukhangayo. Labo abasiqaphelayo nabasifezayo isibopho sabo sokuba abangane bomshado abaqinile ngokomoya bathola umusa waphezulu. Futhi into engaqinisa umbhangqwana kunazo zonke ukuzinikela kwabo bobabili abashadile kuMdali futhi basamukele ngokugcwele isiqondiso sakhe. Ngale ndlela uJehova uyadunyiswa, futhi umshado uba nesiqalo esihle esiyoba nomthelela esibophweni esihlala njalo.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

Ungaphendula Kanjani?

• Kungani kudingeka isiqondiso saphezulu ekukhetheni umngane womshado okahle?

• Ukuzinikela kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu kuyosiza kanjani ekuqiniseni isibopho somshado?

• Abazali bangazilungiselela kanjani izingane zabo umshado?

• Kungani kubalulekile ‘ukushada kuphela eNkosini’?

[Imibuzo Yesifundo]

[Izithombe ekhasini 17]

Ukusebenzisa iseluleko sikaNkulunkulu lapho ukhetha umngane wakho womshado kungaphumela enjabulweni enkulu

[Izithombe ekhasini 18]

‘Ukushada kuphela eNkosini’ kuletha izibusiso ezicebile