Iseluleko Ongasethemba Sokukhulisa Abantwana

LAPHO ekhuluma ngokukhulelwa kwakhe kokuqala, uRuth uthi: “Ngangineminyaka engu-19 ubudala, ngihlala kude nomndeni wakithi, futhi ngingakulungele nhlobo ukuba umzali.” Njengoba ayeyingane eyodwa vó kwabo, wayengakaze acabange ngokuba umzali. Wayengasitholaphi iseluleko ayengasethemba?

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uJan, manje ongubaba wezingane ezimbili esezikhulile, uyakhumbula: “Ngangizethemba kakhulu ekuqaleni. Kodwa ngokushesha ngabona ukuthi ngangingenakho okuhlangenwe nakho.” Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abazali bazizwa bengakulungele ukukhulisa abantwana ekuqaleni noma kamuva, bangalutholaphi usizo lokukhulisa abantwana babo?

Namuhla, bayanda abazali abafuna usizo kuyi-Internet. Ngakho, ungase uzibuze ukuthi sinokwethenjelwa kangakanani iseluleko esitholakala lapho. Kunesizathu sokuba uqaphe. Uyabazi ngempela abantu abakunika leso seluleko nge-computer? Baye baphumelela ngezinga elingakanani ekukhuliseni ababo abantwana? Akungabazeki ukuthi ufuna ukuqapha ngokuqondene nezindaba ezithinta umkhaya wakho. Njengoba isihloko esandulele siphawulile, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho neseluleko esivela kubantu abanolwazi kuye kucace kamuva ukuthi asiphumeleli. Ngakho ungasitholaphi?

UMthombo oyinhloko weseluleko sokukhulisa abantwana nguJehova uNkulunkulu, uMsunguli womkhaya. (Efesu 3:15) Uyena yedwa oyisazi sangempela. NgeZwi lakhe iBhayibheli, usinikeza iseluleko esingasethemba nesiwusizo ngempela. (IHubo 32:8; Isaya 48:17, 18) Nokho, kukithi ukuthi sisisebenzise.

Imibhangqwana eminingana yacelwa ukuba ilandise eye yakufunda ngenkathi ikhulisa abantwana bayo ukuba babe abantu abadala abavuthiwe nabesaba uNkulunkulu. Yathi ngokuyinhloko yaphumelela ngenxa yokusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli. Yathola ukuthi ungasethemba iseluleko seBhayibheli nanamuhla njengoba kwakunjalo nangesikhathi iBhayibheli lilotshwa.

Chitha Isikhathi Nabo

Lapho uCatherine, umama onabantwana ababili, ebuzwa ukuthi isiphi iseluleko esamsiza kunazo zonke, ngokushesha wabhekisela encwadini kaDuteronomi 6:7. Lelo vesi lithi: ‘Kumelwe ugxilise izimiso zeBhayibheli kubantwana bakho futhi ukhulume ngazo lapho uhleli endlini yakho nalapho uhamba endleleni nalapho ulala nalapho uvuka.’ UCatherine wabona ukuthi ukuze akwazi ukusebenzisa leso seluleko, kwakuzodingeka achithe isikhathi nabantwana bakhe.

Ungase ucabange, ‘Kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza.’ Njengoba emikhayeni eminingi kudingeka ukuba abazali basebenze bobabili ukuze bakwazi ukuphila, abazali abamatasa bangasichitha kanjani isikhathi esengeziwe nabantwana babo? UTorlief, onendodana esikhulisa owayo umkhaya, uthi into ebalulekile iwukulandela iseluleko esitholakala kuDuteronomi. Hamba nabantwana bakho kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyaphi, futhi amathuba okuxoxa ayozivelela. UTorlief uthi: “Ngangenza imisebenzi yasendlini nendodana yami. Sasihamba sonke njengomkhaya futhi sidla ndawonye.” Ngenxa yalokho, uthi, “njalo indodana yethu yayizizwa ikhululekile ukuxoxa nganoma yini.”

Nokho, kuthiwani uma ukukhulumisana kungekuhle futhi kunzima ukuba nezingxoxo? Lokhu kuyenzeka ngezinye izikhathi njengoba abantwana bekhula. Nalapha futhi, ukuchitha isikhathi esengeziwe nabo kungasiza. Umyeni kaCatherine, uKen, ukhumbula ukuthi lapho indodakazi yabo yeva eshumini nambili, yayikhononda ngokuthi wayengayilaleli. Abasanda kweva eshumini nambili bavamile ukukhononda ngalokhu. Wenzani uKen? Uyakhumbula: “Nganquma ukuchitha isikhathi esengeziwe nayo sisobabili, sixoxa ngezinto ezicabangayo, imizwa yayo nangezinto eziyikhungathekisayo. Lokhu kwasiza ngempela.”  (IzAga 20:5) Nokho, uKen ukholelwa ukuthi isizathu esenza le ndlela yaphumelela ukuthi ukukhulumisana kwakungeyona into eyayiqabukela yenziwe emkhayeni wabo. Uthi: “Mina nendodakazi yami sasilokhu sinobuhlobo obuhle, ngakho yaba nomuzwa wokuthi ingaxoxa nami ngokukhululekile.”

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi omunye umbiko wamuva nje ubike ukuthi abasanda kweva eshumini nambili bathambekele kakhulu kunabazali babo ukuveza ukuthi abazali nabantwana abasichithi isikhathi esanele ndawonye. Ngakho, kungani ungalandeli iseluleko seBhayibheli? Chitha isikhathi esiningi ngangokunokwenzeka nabantwana bakho—lapho uphumule nasemsebenzini, ekhaya nalapho uhamba, ekuseni lapho uvuka nasebusuku ngaphambi kokuyolala. Uma kungenzeka, hamba nabo noma ngabe uyaphi. Njengoba uDuteronomi 6:7 ebonisa, akukho okunye okungavala isikhala sokuchitha isikhathi nabantwana bakho.

Bafundise Izimiso Ezifanele

UMario, ubaba wabantwana ababili, utusa okucishe kufane: “Bonisa abantwana ukuthi uyabathanda kakhulu, futhi ubafundele.” Nokho, akuyona nje indaba yokuthi uthuthukisa ikhono lengqondo labantabakho. Kudingeka ubafundise ukuhlukanisa okulungile kokungalungile. UMario uyanezela: “Yiba nesifundo seBhayibheli nabo.”

Ngenxa yalokho, iBhayibheli liyala abazali: “Ningabacasuli abantwana benu, kodwa bakhuliseni ngomusa ngokuqeqesha nangesiyalo sobuKristu beqiniso.” (Efesu 6:4, Weymouth) Emizini eminingi namuhla ayigcizelelwa imfundo yokuziphatha. Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi lapho abantwana bekhula bayokwazi ukuzinqumela izimiso abazophila ngazo. Ingabe lokho kunengqondo kuwe? Njengoba nje imizimba esemincane idinga ukudla okufanele ukuze ikhule ibe imiqemane, nezingqondo nezinhliziyo ezisencane zidinga ukufundiswa. Uma abantwana bakho ungabafundisi izimiso zokuziphatha ekhaya, cishe bayokwamukela umbono wezingane abafunda nazo esikoleni, wothisha noma wabemithombo yezindaba.

IBhayibheli lingasiza abazali ukuba bafundise abantwana babo ukuhlukanisa okulungile kokungalungile. (2 Thimothewu 3:16, 17) UJeff, umdala ongumKristu onokuhlangenwe nakho owakhulisa abantwana ababili, utusa ukusebenzisa iBhayibheli ukuze ufundise abantwana izimiso ezifanele. Uthi: “Ukusebenzisa iBhayibheli kusiza abantwana babone indlela uMdali azizwa ngayo ngendaba, hhayi nje umbono kamama nobaba. Siqaphelé ukuthi iBhayibheli lithonya ingqondo nenhliziyo ngendlela emangalisayo. Ukuze silungise ukuziphatha noma ukucabanga okungalungile, sasizinika isikhathi sokufuna umBhalo ofanelekayo. Sasibe sesimcela eyedwa lowo mntwana ukuba afunde lelo vesi. Ngokuvamile umntwana wayeqala ukuchiphiza noma kuvele nje kwehle izinyembezi. Kwakusimangaza lokhu. IBhayibheli laliba nethonya elikhulu kunanoma yini enye esasingacabanga ukuyisho noma ukuyenza.”

Incwadi yamaHebheru 4:12 iyachaza: “Izwi likaNkulunkulu liyaphila, linamandla . . . futhi liyakwazi ukuqonda imicabango nezinhloso zenhliziyo.” Ngakho, umyalezo oseBhayibhelini awuyona nje imibono yomuntu noma okuhlangenwe nakho kwabantu abasetshenziswa uNkulunkulu ekulilobeni. Kunalokho, uyimicabango kaNkulunkulu ngezindaba zokuziphatha. Lokhu kuwenza uhluke kuzo zonke izeluleko. Ngokusebenzisa iBhayibheli lapho ufundisa abantwana bakho, ubasiza ukuba babe nomqondo kaNkulunkulu ngezinto. Ukuqeqesha kwakho kuphumelela kakhulu, futhi uba nethuba elingcono kakhulu lokufinyelela inhliziyo yomntanakho.

UCatherine, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, uyavuma. Uthi: “Lapho isimo siba nzima kakhulu, sasigxila kakhulu ekufuneni isiqondiso eZwini likaNkulunkulu—futhi kwakusebenza!” Ungalisebenzisa yini kakhudlwana iBhayibheli ekufundiseni abantwana bakho ukuze bahlukanise okulungile kokungalungile?

Yiba Ocabangelayo

Umphostoli uPawulu ubonisa esinye isimiso esibalulekile futhi esiwusizo ekukhuliseni abantwana. Wanxusa amaKristu ayekanye nawo: “Ukucabangela kwenu makwaziwe yibo bonke abantu.” (Filipi 4:5) Ngokuqinisekile, lokho kuhlanganisa nokwenza abantwana bethu babone ukuthi siyacabangela. Futhi khumbula, ukucabangela  kubonisa “ukuhlakanipha kwaphezulu.”—Jakobe 3:17.

Nokho, ukucabangela kunayiphi indima ekuqeqesheni abantwana bethu? Nakuba senza konke okusemandleni ukubasiza, asilawuli yonke into abayenzayo. Ngokwesibonelo, uMario, ocashunwe ngenhla, ungomunye woFakazi BakaJehova, futhi uyakhumbula: “Njalo sasikhuthaza abantwana bethu ukuba babhapathizwe, bangenele inkonzo yesikhathi esigcwele futhi babe neminye imigomo engokomoya. Kodwa sasikwenza kucace ukuthi kwakuyibo okwakufanele bazenzele isinqumo lapho sekuyisikhathi esifanele.” Waba yini umphumela? Manje bobabili abantwana babo bakhonza njengabashumayeli besikhathi esigcwele.

IBhayibheli lixwayisa obaba kweyabaseKolose 3:21: “Ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, ukuze bangadangali.” UCatherine uyalithanda lelo vesi. Lapho ukubekezela komzali kuphela, kulula ukuthukuthela noma ukuba nokhahlo. Kodwa uthi, “ungalindeli ukuba umntanakho enze izinto njengawe.” Naye uCatherine ungomunye woFakazi BakaJehova futhi uyanezela: “Yenza ukukhonza uJehova kube okujabulisayo.”

UJeff, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, unikeza lokhu kusikisela okuwusizo: “Njengoba abantwana bethu babekhula, umngane esimthandayo wasitshela ukuthi waqaphela indlela ayevame ngayo ukwenqaba lapho abantwana bakhe becela okuthile. Lokhu kwakubakhungathekisa, kubenze bazizwe becindezelwe. Ukuze sigweme lokhu, wasikhuthaza ukuba sibheke izindlela zokuvuma.”

UJeff uthi: “Sabona ukuthi yiseluleko esihle lesi. Nathi sabe sesifuna amathuba okuba abantwana bethu benze izinto nabanye ezimweni esizibona zifaneleka. Ngakho sasibabuza: ‘Bewazi yini ukuthi uS’banibani uzokwenza ukuthi nokuthi? Awuthandi ukukwenza naye?’ Noma, uma abantwana besicela ukuba sibayise endaweni ethile, sasiziphoqa siye ngisho noma sikhathele. Sakwenza lokho ukuze nje sigweme ukuthi cha.” Yilokho kanye okushiwo ukucabangela—ukungakhethi, ukubonelela nokuvuma ngaphandle kokuyekethisa ezimisweni zeBhayibheli.

Zuza Esiyalweni Ongasethemba

Iningi lale mibhangqwana selingogogo nomkhulu manje. Bayakujabulela ukubona ukuthi lezi zimiso zeBhayibheli ezifanayo zisiza abantwana babo ukuba baphumelele njengabazali. Ingabe ungazuza eselulekweni seBhayibheli?

Lapho uRuth, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, eba umzali, yena nomyeni wakhe ngezinye izikhathi babeba nomuzwa wokuthi alukho usizo ababengaluthola. Kodwa kwakungenjalo. Babeneseluleko esiphakeme seZwi likaNkulunkulu, iBhayibheli. OFakazi BakaJehova baye banyathelisa izinsiza-kufundisa iBhayibheli eziningi futhi ezinhle kakhulu ezingasiza abazali. Lezi zihlanganisa incwadi ethi Funda KuMfundisi Omkhulu, Incwadi Yami Yezindaba ZeBhayibheli, Intsha Iyabuza—Izimpendulo Ezisebenzayo nethi Umuntu Omkhulu Kunabo Bonke Owake Waphila. UTorlief, umyeni kaRuth, uthi: “Namuhla kunenqwaba yezeluleko ezisekelwe eBhayibhelini ezingasiza abazali. Uma nje bengazisebenzisa, zingabasiza ekusingatheni zonke izici zokukhula kwabantwana.”

 [Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 5]

Okushiwo IZAZI . . . Okushiwo IBHAYIBHELI

Ngokubonisa Uthando:

Kwethi Psychological Care of Infant and Child (ka-1928), uDkt. uJohn Broadus Watson wanxusa abazali: “Ningalokothi nange futhi niqabule” abantwana benu. “Ningabavumeli ukuba bagone.” Nokho, muva nje kumagazini othi Our Children (ka-March 1999) uDkt. uVera Lane noDorothy Molyneaux bathi: “Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abantwana abangatomotwa futhi abangaboniswa uthando ngokuvamile abakhuli kahle.”

Incwadi ka-Isaya 66:12 isho okuhlukile ngoba ibhekisela kuNkulunkulu njengobonisa abantu bakhe uthando ngezindlela umzali abonisa ngazo uthando ezinganeni zakhe. Ngokufanayo, lapho abafundi bakaJesu bezama ukuvimba abantu ukuba bangabalethi abantwana kuJesu, wabakhuza, ethi: “Bayekeni abantwana beze kimi; ningazami ukubavimba.” Ngemva kwalokho, “wabasingatha abantwana wababusisa.”—Marku 10:14, 16.

Ngokufundisa Izimiso Ezifanele:

Esihlokweni esikuyi-New York Times Magazine ka-1969, uDkt. uBruno Bettelheim wagcizelela ukuthi umntwana ‘unelungelo lokuba neyakhe imibono, engathonyiwe yimfundiso yabazali abangafune kuphikiswa, kodwa ethonywe yilokho azitholele khona ekuphileni.’ Nokho, ngemva kweminyaka engaba ngu-30, uDkt. uRobert Coles, umlobi wencwadi ethi The Moral Intelligence of Children (ka-1997), wavuma: “Abantwana bakudinga kakhulu ukuba nenjongo nesiqondiso ekuphileni, izimiso” ezivunyelwa abazali nabanye abantu abadala.

IzAga 22:6 zinxusa abazali: “Qeqesha umntwana ngokwendlela emfanele; ngisho nalapho ekhula ngeke aphambuke kuyo.” Igama lesiHebheru elihunyushwe ngokuthi “qeqesha” lisho ‘nokuthatha isinyathelo kuqala’ futhi lapha libonisa ukuqala ukufundisa umntwana esewusana. Ngakho abazali bakhuthazwa ukuba baqale ukufundisa abantwana babo izimiso ezifanele kusukela beseyizinsana kuqhubeke. (2 Thimothewu 3:14, 15) Bangase banamathele njalo kulokho abakufunda ngaleyo minyaka yokuqala besafundiseka.

Ngesiyalo:

Encwadini ethi The Strong-Willed Child (ka-1978) uDkt. uJames Dobson wabhala: “Ukushaywa umzali onothando kuyingxenye yokufundisa enqanda ukuziphatha okulimazayo.” Ngakolunye uhlangothi, esihlokweni esacashunwa encwadini edumile ethi Baby and Child Care (ka-1998), uhlelo lwesikhombisa, uDkt. uBenjamin Spock wathi: “Ukushaya kufundisa abantwana ukuthi umuntu omdala unamandla futhi unegunya lokwenza noma yini, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ilungile noma cha.”

Ngokuqondene nesiyalo, iBhayibheli lithi: “Yinduku nokusola okunika ukuhlakanipha.” (IzAga 29:15) Nokho, akubona bonke abantwana abadinga ukujeziswa ngokushaywa. IzAga 17:10 zisitshela ukuthi: “Ukukhuza kungena kujule konokuqonda kunokushaya oyisiphukuphuku kayikhulu.”

[Isithombe]

Sebenzisa iBhayibheli ukuze ufinyelele inhliziyo

[Isithombe ekhasini 7]

Abazali abahlakaniphile bahlelela abantwana babo izikhathi zokuzijabulisa