Imindeni yokutholwa ibhekana nezinselele ezingafani nezeminye futhi ivame ukuba nezinkinga nezihlobo zomndeni wokuqala. * Osingamzali abaningi kumelwe basebenzelane nomzali wangempela wengane ezindabeni ezinjengokuvakasha, ukuyijezisa nokuyondla. Abangane nezihlobo bangase bakuthole kunzima ukujwayela amalungu omndeni omusha. Cabanga ngendlela iseluleko seBhayibheli esingasiza ngayo umndeni wakho wokutholwa ukuba ubhekane nalezo zinselele.

Usingamama waseNamibia okuthiwa uJudith uthi: “Umama wezingane zami zokutholwa wake watshela izingane zakhe ukuthi mina ngimane nje ngiyinkosikazi entsha kababa wazo, nokuthi noma iziphi izingane esiyoba nazo azizona ezakubo. Lawo mazwi angiphatha kabi ngoba ngizithanda njengokungathi ezami.”

 Izazi ziyavuma ukuthi ubuhlobo nomzali wengane wangempela bungaba nzima kakhulu, futhi lokhu kuba into ehlukanisa imindeni yokutholwa. Ngokuvamile, ngumama wangempela nosingamama ababa nobunzima obukhulu. Yini engasiza?

Indlela yokuphumelela: Beka imingcele enengqondo. Uma uzama ukuvimbela umzali wangempela ukuba axhumane nengane yakhe, ingane ingase ihlukumezeke ngokomzwelo. * Abazali bengane, labo ‘abayizalayo,’ banendawo ekhethekile empilweni yayo. (IzAga 23:22, 25) Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma uvumela owawushade naye ukuba abe nethonya elikhulu emndenini wenu, ungamkhungathekisa noma ngisho umcasule osushade naye manje. Lwela ukulinganisela, ubeke imingcele enengqondo ukuze uvikele umshado wakho, ngesikhathi esifanayo ubambisane nowawushade naye ngangokunokwenzeka.

AMACEBISO ABAZALI

• Lapho ukhuluma nowawushade naye, gxila ezinganeni futhi unciphise izingxoxo ezingahlobene nazo. Ngokwesibonelo, ngobuhlakani ungase uhlele isikhathi angashaya ngaso ucingo. Lokhu kuvame ukusebenza kangcono kunokuba kushaywe ucingo noma nini ngisho nasebusuku kakhulu.
• Uma inkantolo ingavumanga ukuba uhlale nezingane zakho, mhlawumbe ungazishayela ucingo, uzibhalele izincwadi, uthumele imiyalezo ngomakhalekhukhwini noma nge-e-mail ukuze uhlale uthintana nazo. (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Abanye baze basebenzise ezokuxhumana ezinjenge-skype. Ungase ukwazi ukuziqonda kangcono izingane zakho futhi uzinike neseluleko esingazisiza—ngendlela ongeke wayicabanga.

AMACEBISO OSINGAMAMA

• Bonisa ‘uzwela’ kumama wezingane ngokukwenza kucace ukuthi awuzami ukuthatha isikhundla sakhe. (1 Petru 3:8) Mtshele njalo okwenzekayo ezinganeni zakhe uma zinawe, ugxile kokuhle. (IzAga 16:24) Cela iseluleko sakhe futhi umbonge lapho ekunika.
• Linganisela endleleni obonisa ngayo izingane uthando uma unina ekhona. UBeverly, usingamama wase-United States, uthi: “Izingane zami zokutholwa ezincane zazifuna ukungibiza ngomama. Savumelana ngokuthi kulungile uma zingibiza ngomama ekhaya, kodwa uma kukhona uJane, unina, noma abomndeni wakhe zingangibizi ngomama. Ngemva kwalokho, izinto zahamba kahle phakathi kwami noJane. Eqinisweni, sase silekelelana ngemidlalo yesikole noma uma zihamba naso.”

AMACEBISO ANGASIZA ABAZALI NOSINGAMZALI BAZWANE

• Ungalokothi ukhulume kabi ngomzali ongekho noma ngosingamzali phambi kwezingane. Kulula ukukhuluma kabi ngomunye umzali kodwa lokho kuyayicindezela ingane. Ngeke futhi wazi ukuthi ayoqhamuka kanjani ngelinye ilanga amazwi akho. (UmShumayeli 10:20) Uma ingane ithi umzali wayo noma usingamzali ebekhuluma kabi ngawe, gxila  emizweni yengane. Ungase usho into enjengokuthi: “Phephisa. Umama wakho ungicasukele futhi ngezinye izikhathi uma abantu becasukile basho izinto ezingezinhle.”
• Zamani ukubeka imithetho nezijeziso ezifanayo emizini yenu. Uma kungeke kwenzeke lokhu, chaza umehluko ngaphandle kokululaza omunye umzali. Cabanga ngesimo esilandelayo:Usingamama: Xolani, ngicela ugeze leso sitsha uma uqeda ukudla.UXolani: Ekhaya asizigezi izitsha zigezwa umama.Usingamama (Ecasuka): Hhayi-ke, uyakona ngoba ukufundisa ubuvila.Injani le mpendulo elandelayo?Usingamama (ngomoya ophansi): Oh, ngiyabona. Lapha ekhaya uyadla bese uyasigeza.
• Gwema ukuhlela imisebenzi ezokwenziwa izingane ngesikhathi ezizobe zinomunye umzali wazo ngaso. (Mathewu 7:12) Uma ingeke yenziwe ngesinye isikhathi, thola imvume komunye umzali ngaphambi kokutshela izingane ukuthi uhleleni.

Incwadi ethi Step Wars icaphuna owesifazane owayekhononda ngendlela umyeni wakhe athatha ngayo uhlangothi lwezingane zakhe ezindala bese ephika ukuthi ziyamdelela. Uthi: “Ngivele ngithukuthele kuthi angife.” Yini ongayenza ukuze ubuhlobo bakho nezingane ezindala bungalimazi umshado wenu?

Indlela yokuphumelela: Bonisa uzwela. IBhayibheli lithi: “Yilowo nalowo makangazifuneli inzuzo yakhe siqu, kodwa eyomunye umuntu.” (1 Korinte 10:24) Zama ukuqonda imizwa yabanye. Izingane zokutholwa esezindala zingaba nomuzwa wokuthi umzali wazo akasazithandi. Noma zingaba nomuzwa wokuthi uma zamukela usingamzali ziyobe ziyawulahla umndeni wazo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abazali bangase bakhathazeke ngokuthi ukuthethisa izingane zabo kuzoziqhelisa kubo.

Esikhundleni sokuzama ukuphoqa ukuba abangane bazo, vumela ukuba ubuhlobo bakho nezingane zakho zokutholwa buzikhulele. Ngokuvamile, akukona ukuhlakanipha ukuphoqelela othile ukuba akuthande. (IsiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo 8:4) Zama ukungalindeli izinto ezinkulu noma ezingenakwenzeka ebuhlotsheni nezingane zakho zokutholwa.

Akufanele usho yonke into oyicabangayo nendlela ozizwa ngayo, ngisho noma uphathwa kabi. (IzAga 29:11) Lapho kunzima ukulawula ulimi lwakho, thandaza njengoba kwenza uDavide, inkosi yakwa-Israyeli: “O Jehova, bekela umlomo wami umqaphi; beka umlindi engame umnyango wezindebe zami.”—IHubo 141:3.

Uma unquma ukuhlala endlini izingane ezakhulela kuyo, uzophawula indlela eziyithanda ngayo. Zama ukungenzi izinguquko ezinkulu, ikakhulu  emakamelweni azo. Ungase ucabangele nokuthuthela endlini entsha.

UMarion, usingamama waseCanada, uthi: “Abazali bami babevame ukupha indodana yami izipho kodwa babengaziphi lutho izingane zomyeni wami. Sasizama ukuzithengela nazo, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi sasingabi nayo imali.”

Indlela yokuphumelela: Umndeni wakho omusha mawuze kuqala kuwe. Tshela izihlobo nabangane bakho ukuthi uzibophezele emndenini wakho omusha. (1 Thimothewu 5:8) Nakuba ungenakulindela ukuba zonke izihlobo nabangane zisheshe zithande amalungu omndeni wakho omusha, ungazicela ukuba ziwaphathe kahle. Bachazele ukuthi izingane ziyophatheka kabuhlungu lapho bengazinaki noma bengazibonisi umusa.

Zama ukunika abazali bomuntu owawushade naye ithuba lokusondelana nabazukulu babo. Umama waseNgilandi okuthiwa uSusan uthi: “Ngaphinde ngashada ngemva kwezinyanga ezingu-18 umyeni wami wokuqala eshonile, futhi kwaba nzima kubazali bakhe ukwamukela umyeni wami omusha. Kwaba ngcono lapho sesichitha isikhathi esengeziwe nabo, sitshela izingane ukuba zibashayele ucingo futhi sibabonga ngokusisekela kwabo.”

Ubuhlobo nabantu abahlobana nomndeni wakho wokutholwa bungaba nezinselele. Nokho, lapho usebenzisa iseluleko semiBhalo, umndeni wakho uyothola lesi sibusiso esithenjiswa yiBhayibheli: “Indlu iyokwakhiwa ngokuhlakanipha, futhi ngokuqonda iyokuma iqine.”—IzAga 24:3.